I Hate Driving

Just seven weeks ago I picked up my new car. When I say new, it was really new and shiny and the most loveliest car I’ve ever had. I was so excited.

I’d not had a car of my own for more than two years. The last time I had taken out a loan to purchase a second hand car and I’d been totally ripped off. The car was purchased from a private seller and after two month I took it for an MOT test and the car had to be scrapped because it was dangerous. The experience was awful, I was left with no car and no money and the worry that I’d been driving around with my children in a dangerous car for two months. It did put me off.

Then the opportunity arose for me to have a new car and I have to admit it has been really difficult with all the hospital visits and appointments having to rely on public transport, taxis and lifts from friends and family. So a new car was just what we needed.

At first it was great, the car is a dream to drive. I have driven some awful cars in the past so it was so refreshing to have one so nice. We couldn’t wait to go out every day.

I don’t know exactly when things changed but I actually dread going out in the car now. I feel frightened and that makes me nervous and I’m worried that  my nerves will lead to me making a dangerous mistake. With a few weeks of having the car I ventured on the motorway and it was fine. I did get a little mixed up on the journey home but managed to rectify it and we arrived home just half hour later than expected. We did see a nasty accident on the motorway, it had happened sometime before and they were clearing up, but it was still disturbing. Maybe that spooked me?

Now I find every time  I venture out I see someone do something stupid, particularly at traffic islands. Do people know how to use islands? I think they should spend more time in lessons getting people to drive around islands, maybe even include it in the test, it’s more important than doing a three point turn. I see so many near misses, witness so many people in a hurry that they pay no regards to anyone else on the road, see stupidity everywhere. Is it me? Have I lost my nerve being on the road?

I’ve been a driver for more than fifteen years and in that time I’ve had one minor accident and a couple of bumps while parking…(stupid concrete posts in car parks!) Nothing serious and no-one has ever been hurt.
I do consider myself a safe driver, although I still have a little trouble parking.

My partner has suddenly become the worst passenger ever. He was fine when I was driving him around before, but since then he’s had a few driving lessons himself. Now he thinks he’s a better driver than me and I’m dangerous. He says it’s because he was involved in an accident before, but not while I was driving. He makes me feel even more nervous and nerves are not good while driving. I find myself concentrating really hard every second I’m in the car. I’ve stopped listening to the radio and ignore the kids. The road is all I think about. And driving has stopped being fun.

I’m determined not to let this beat me though. In the last week or two I’ve been tempted to give the car back, really, it’s been that bad. However, I know we need it, and the kids would be devestated. Will get my confidence back?

So, am I a total nutcase? Have you ever felt like this? How can I help myself feel better? Do offer any advice you can, I think I need it.

Thanks xx

The day I got my car