Monday, 1 February 2016
When you have such a rubbish start to the year as I have the beginning of a new month is always welcomed. Goodbye rubbish January, hello positive February.
That doesn't mean that things have miraculously got better overnight, it just means I'm approaching the rest of the year with a positive attitude. It's so easy to feel down about all that has happened, the loss of my partners Father, my debilitating illness and then the loss of my car, but things can't get much worse, they have to start getting better.
I'm staying positive in that I will make a really good recovery from this Tranverse Myelitis. I know it can take a long time to heal but I will get there. I've read tons of stories now and everyone seems to be different, different levels of the illness and different levels of recovery. I know that I've been trying to gauge how long it will take me to recover against other's stories, but I've now realised that it's just not possible. I will recover in my own time, but I will never stop hoping and doing all I can to get well again. I may even start a little diary so I can see the little changes which can often be missed when you're looking for big things. I'll start with the little change I felt last night when my right foot was itching.
We are still grieving which is hard because we have not yet laid my partners Dad to rest. It will be soon now though and I know from experience that although it will be a difficult day, it can also be the day that healing begins. I feel so awful for my partner and his mum, it's hard losing a loved one. I'm also finding it so difficult as he passed away while I was taking him for an appointment, and I can't forget the whole horrid experience and sitting with him for so long afterwards waiting for his family to arrive. We all have to go sometime but I hope and pray I pass away gently in my sleep, don't we all!
Then there is my car. It was a mobility car that I had for my daughter who has problems walking any distance. I've had it for 18 months from new and paid nearly £3,500 towards it. I knew that it wouldn't be mine in the end but I would get a new replacement after three years. It seemed like a good deal. However, my daughter has now lost her mobility allowance as apparently they have deemed her well again, and I have to give the car back and will be left with nothing! It doesn't seem like such a good deal now! I'm appealing the decision made about my daughter, it's obvious they have not read through my re-application and they did not contact any of the seven professionals I provided for back up. I know this because they made the decision the same day they received my 43 page form, with two extra page of hand written informations and several hospital letters. However, I've changed my mind about having a car again. At least if I spend £3,500 on a car in the future I will have something to show for it.
So, there we go, the three worst things that happened to me in January and how I'm working on them positively,
I hope my readers have had a better start to the year, and I'd like to wish you all a Happy new New Year. There is so much to look forward to, Spring time, Easter (my favourite holiday) and lighter days!