Friday, 10 June 2016

Honesty

This week my word is honesty.



I've chosen this for a few reasons. It's the value I'm looking at in The Activation Game which I'm doing at the moment (I'm also giving away five copies of the Activation Game, if you'd like to know more please click through.) Of course this means it's something at the front of my mind right now while I'm exploring the honesty around me as well as my own honesty.

I also read an interesting blog post the other day on the back of the Noel Edmunds controversy. I wish I had the link to share but unfortunately I didn't save it and now I can't find it, typical! Anyway, just in case you are not familiar with the story, in brief, Noel Edmunds blamed Cancer on negativity. If you want to know any more, look it up. I think Noel made a big mistake with his comments, but I do believe that negativity doesn't help anyone, let alone anyone with a serious illness. The post (that I lost) also commented that it's not healthy to be positive all of the time.

So where is this taking me on my theme of honesty?

Well, I'm a positive person, I always have been. I'm most definitely a half full cup type of person. Even my childhood is viewed with rose tint glasses. Of course it must have been brilliant with my Dad dying on his way to work when I was just 8 years old, and then my step-dad dying in front of my eyes at 13 yrs old. But I've never a bad word to say about it all. I was happy (or deluded.)

I didn't hate school either, I tried to get out of going whenever possible, never made many friends, was most definitely not a popular girl, but I worked hard and got some fairly reasonable exam results.

My first marriage was ok as well, there were good times, he cheated on me occasionally. I'm still friends with my ex husband.

The years I spent as a single parent I describe as one of the best times of my life. Oh yes, you can't beat the life of a full-time working mum, leaving your kids in the care of those you thought you could trust during the school holiday while you went to work to pay the bills.

Do you see where I'm heading yet?

It's all about your attitude to life and how you perceive things. We live in an age where oversharing is the natural thing to do. But how much of this sharing of our lives is truly honest?

Now, I will be honest with you.

I DON'T share everything?

Like I said, I'm a positive person, looking at life through a rainbow of dancing unicorns. It's not that I don't want to be honest and share everything, but really, is that what you want to hear?
More importantly, is that what I want you to hear?

My answer, honestly, is no. I'll say it again, I am a positive person and my positivity stems from how I portray myself to others. Ask my partner or my kids, I often don't tell them how I'm really feeling because then I wouldn't feel so positive.

My only concern right now is that people see me as some wonderful, amazing person, who tosses aside any struggles that come my way and makes everything seem hunky dory. (I love that phrase!)

If I'm honest, and honesty is what I'm trying to portray here, I'm not anything special. I have a lot going on, some good, some bad and my way of dealing with everything is to stay positive. If I let that drop, then well, I drop. And I do sometimes, but that's when I stop sharing, so you probably will never know.

I love reading blogs, there are many amazing blogs to be read. My favourite ones are the ones where the authors are honest and record all their lows alongside their highs. They are the amazing ones, they are the strong ones. They are the ones I know are just as positive as me, but have found a way of allowing themselves to express their sadness and grief just as eloquently. And honestly.

I am a positive person (And I believe that saying that over and over makes you feel positive too!)
I am also a honest person.
I am just not as good at sharing my honesty as I am at sharing my positivity.
I hope you will forgive me and continue to read me.




The Reading Residence
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