Tuesday, 5 July 2016

I Carried Towels up the Stairs.

I carried some towels upstairs.
Such a simple statement don't you think?
This is how I did it.

First I grabbed the towels and put them under my right arm.
My right arm is the strongest but the bannister on the left hand side of the stairs was fitted for me as it's stronger, easier to hold and goes all the way up the stairs including the bends. The bannister on the right only goes up the straight stairs and cannot be grabbed as easy. I wouldn't really call it a bannister.
So, I have towels under my right arm and now I have to go upstairs with just one hand.
You may think this is easy but it's not for me.
My legs don't work properly so when I go upstairs I use my upper body to drag my legs up the stairs. Each foot has to slide up the stairs one at a time.
It's hard work with two hands.
It's even harder with one.

I did it though. One handed, I dragged my body up the stairs all the way to the top and I put the towels in the airing cupboard.

I was exhausted! If you are familiar with the spoon theory I could tell you that I used up most of my spoons for that day doing that one exercise.

Such a simple task, one that I would have done with ease last year. As soon as the tumble drier finished I'd fold the clothes and take them upstairs. Now I have to ask someone else to do it for me and I find that frustrating.

Today has not been a good day. In fact it started last night when I had difficulty sleeping because my feet had gone into spasm. Eventually the drugs kicked in and I slept, having the most weirdest dreams that freaked me out. Luckily I don't remember them. I do wonder if it's the drugs though, I never used to have freaky dreams before.

This morning I woke up with spasms in my feet, which had probably been there all night, spasms in my legs, my right arm and my back. I couldn't move. I was scared, I've been paralysed before and I really don't want that to happen again. Eventually, using my bed guard I managed to drag myself into a sitting position and reached for my pills. My bedside table looks like a pharmacy, it used to look like a bookshop.

After a while, and a helping hand from my other half I managed to get to my feet. I washed and dressed and went downstairs. I've felt dreadful all day, but the spasms have mostly stopped, just my feet and my back have continued.

Today has not been a good day, tomorrow will be better.
This year has not been a good year, next year will be better.

I want to sit on the floor and play with my Little Man and his lego.
I want to run around the park playing games with my kids.
I want to do my housework, my way, without being exhausted in just five minutes.
I want my life back!

I have hope, recovery for Transverse Myelitis can take up to two years. I've only had it six months, things can certainly get better.

Today was not a good day, but yesterday I carried towels up the stairs.

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