Thursday, 22 September 2016

Trust or Trustworthiness?

Who do you trust?
If you were asked to take part in an opinion poll what do you think your answers would be..
Do you trust politicians?
Do you trust journalists?
Do you trust tv presenters?
Do you trust Doctors?
Do you trust nurses?
Do you trust policemen?


It seem that some people are instantly trusted or mistrusted because of their profession don't you think?

What about your family members, do you trust them?
Do you trust your next door neighbour?
Would you trust a guy in suit in a cafe who came up and asked to borrow £5 with a promise of paying it back?
Would you trust a young lad in a hoodie in a cafe who came up and asked to borrow £5 with a promise of paying it back?

It seems that we trust people because of how well we know them and what they look like.

Maybe we should stop thinking in the way of trust and think more about trustworthiness.
Is a person competent, reliable, honest? Trustworthiness is what we have to judge.

Also, making yourself vulnerable makes you more trustworthy.
If a shop offers a replacement or money back on any item that you buy, no questions asked, they are making themselves vulnerable to you and you feel as though they have earned your trust.

Any person who is competent, reliable, honest and is willing to make themselves vulnerable to you is probably the person you will consider to be trustworthy.

I've experienced a lot of broken trust in my life, some really serious. These people were ones that I felt were trustworthy and I allowed them my complete trust. However, they did not prove themselves to be competent, reliable or honest and once that trust is broken it is very difficult to rebuild.

Some people believe that once trust is over then the relationship is bound to fail. This is generally the case, the person who trusted feels betrayed and hurt and the person they trusted is now untrustworthy.

It's so difficult to rebuild trust because we think of it the wrong way. You can build trust in someone that had let you down unless they can prove that they are trustworthy again.

I do believe that the untrustworthy can prove themselves again, but it takes time and commitment. If they can do this then another may be able to rebuild their trust in them.

Also trust is conditional upon the matter in hand don't you think?
It is a communication between people of what is expected and agreed. You expect your Doctor to diagnose you and prescribe you the correct medication, if he does this then he becomes more trustworthy. Would you trust your Doctor to drive you to the hospital? What if he doesn't know how to drive? Your trust is conditional on what you know your Doctor can or cannot do for you.

In my life I trust my partner to be loyal to me. We have talked about our feelings and we know what we expect of each other. Neither of us have gone back on this expectation. However, my partner often goes to the shop for me and he's really forgetful. Even if I write him a list he gets things wrong. So, basically I can't trust him to go to the shops for me.  I can trust him to be true to me and to look after me but I can't trust him to do the shopping! Trust is condition to the matter in hand.

How easily to do you trust?
What do you trust in yourself?



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