Monday, 13 March 2017

I Wish I Didn't Hurt.

I wish I didn't hurt.
When my Little Man gets into bed with me in the morning and wakes me up with a cuddle. It's so sweet and I know it won't last for much longer and I love it so much....but it hurts me, my broken body hates too much contact.

I wish I didn't hurt.
When you all come home from school the first thing you do is come to give me a huge hug. I love it so much, it shows me how much you care and that you have missed me. I've missed you too. But it hurts me so much, I have to hide my pain, I try not to flinch.

I wish I didn't hurt.
Then I could get on the floor with you and play your games with you. Or do those craft activities that take up too much room to do on the table. My broken body can no longer cope with kneeling or sitting on the floor, the pain is too much.

I wish I didn't hurt.
I would so love to take you to school in the morning, it's the thing I miss the most. I know sometimes it would be a nightmare of a rush and we'd even have some tantrums before getting out the door, but to drop you off and give you that one last kiss or hug goodbye was so special. I know, Little Man, you had the furthest to go and we would sometimes have to run together across the playground to get you in on time. I dream about running with you again, holding on to your hand. My broken body can't even walk now, let alone run. I can't even get out of the car by myself. I can't take you to school.

I wish I didn't hurt.
We used to do so much, go out so much. Play together in the park or in the garden. Do baking and crafting together all afternoon. Have friends around and do fun stuff. My broken body gets tired so quickly that I can't keep up anymore. I can't spend the hours I used to preparing activities and doing them with you. 

I wish I didn't hurt.
When I think I of all the things I can't do anymore it hurts inside. My heart breaks because I can't be the mum I used to be, I can't be the mum I want to be. I love you all so much and I know you love me too. I hope you will still remember a happy, fun and joyful childhood and not one with a broken mummy who stopped being able to do things with you.

I wish I didn't hurt.
Hurting sucks big time.
But I will keep fighting, keep fighting the pain, the hurting, the disability.
I will keep hoping that there will be a way to take away my pain, to make me better, to make me walk again.
I will do it for you, my children and my husband. I may be hurting but I am strong.


Thank you to Rachel from Rachel Swirl for choosing this post as her Tuesday Treasures post of the week. 

Cuddle Fairy


A little Note About Positive Reviews on Raisie Bay

Some people only write reviews when things go wrong with products, which is good because it lets people know that there could be potential problems. I've also seen negative feedback with say things like, I had to return this item because the colour did not suit this useful?

I write reviews on most items I buy because I like to give genuine feedback. If I have a genuine problem with a product I will write my review in the appropriate place.

I write reviews on my blog too, but they are mostly positive. Why? Because I only write reviews for the things I've loved. If I don't love them I let the person who sent me them know with details why and then let them decided if they would rather me write a negative review or not write one at all. It's always the latter.

This is my blog, my place and I'll let you know about the things I love. If you want to find out what other people have hated about the product then you will need to look elsewhere.

My reviews may all be positive, but they are still genuine.
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