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| photo courtesy of Les Anderson |
If you read my post last week, Let Me Not Beg for the Stilling of my Pain, then you would have probably noticed that I was not as upbeat as I usually am. I try my hardest to be positive but sometimes, even while trying, I feel pretty bad inside.
I was really ill, I’d been ill for weeks and I really thought it was time to just give up. But giving up is not really in my vocabulary.
Last week I spent every day in hospital as an outpatient. I received my IVIG treatment for the third time. The first time I’d had very little result, the second time I’d had some good signs but the side effects nearly killed me. This time I was scared about the side effects and had little faith in the treatment. I also harbour guilt for taking such an expensive medication when it was not doing me any good, but talking to other patients they all said I needed to keep going as it does get better.
So, last Monday I had fallen. I had fallen hard and didn’t have much hope in getting back up again.
But, I did. I had my treatment, I have had very minimal side effects, and I feel much better!
Okay, it’s not been a miracle cure, but I have less pain (I have to say that again, I have less pain!!) and I have a little more energy. I feel better inside and my positivity has returned. I’m standing up again. (Almost literally but only for short periods,) and it feels good. I have already been booked in for my next two treatments but I will see my consultant before then. Depending on how long I feel better for he may change my treatment dates.
I have a lot to look forward to this year, and although it started pretty rough, I now have lots of hope that things are going to be just fine.
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Gosh, so difficult but you seem so resilient and positive. Well done youo
Ahh! I am so pleased you are feeling a little better….It must be such a relief that you haven't suffered as much with the side effects. I hope you continue to do well xx
This is such a great post after last week's sadness. I'm delighted that you have some relief from the constant pain. It's no wonder you trip and stumble at times, I am so glad you were able to get back up. Your fella is a star. You are a star. Everything crossed for a continuation of the respite! Xx
I'm so happy you are feeling better and more positive. Praying for continued relief. #MMBC
I am so pleased that you are feeling positive again. There are so many ups and downs with long term illness and treatments, it's only natural that you will struggle from time to time. I hope you continue to get relief from your treatment #MMBC
it's always a double edged sword when it comes to treatments isn't it – with side effects sometimes making us question whether it's worthwhile. glad the pain reduced with the latest treatment and hopefully may you continue to see improvements. xxx
I'm so pleased the treatment has had a more positive effect this time! It's lovely to hear your positivity shining through again (although I still don't know how you do it!). Thanks for linking up again #TheMMLinky
Really hopeful that this path of being on the up continues and the pain continues to lessen. Looking forward to seeing you in April! #TheMMLinky
You are certainly entitled to feel down, it is so much to go through and being in pain is so horrible! I am glad you are looking towards the positives and feeling less pain, less you xx #BlogCrush
What a great quote <3 sorry to hear you've been having a rough time but so pleased the treatment is working and you're feeling better at the moment! Just keep swimming 🙂 #BlogCrush
You've accomplished so much, in finding our positivity again! It really does help. Mindset is so important to our health! Feel good and know we care! <3 #blogcrush xoxo