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Comments

  1. Stressy Mummy

    It is sometimes hard not to take rejection personally. I would in that situation but I'm rubbish at forcing myself on people so would prefer to feel rejected and then kick myself later. It is hard when you are in that situation though.

  2. rebeccabeesley

    What a brilliant blogpost that I bet so many people will relate too. Often even the 'popular' people have these deep fears of rejection too – possibly more so as I often notice the popular people in a group 'need' to feel loved and accepted in order to feel any sense of self esteem. I still have huge fears in group situations but i put that down to my asd traits which i could finally put an explanation to when J was diagnosed – but sometimes i feel able to take those small steps – often just a friendly smile goes a long way and doesn't put me totally out of my comfort zone as a full cheery introduction would. xxx

  3. raisiebay

    It is hard not to take rejection personally but if you learn to handle it effectively then you find that it can lead to more happiness. Wholehearted people, those that seem to give everything and are liked by many have learnt to deal with rejection, they have to because no-one is perfect and everyone will be rejected at some point.

  4. raisiebay

    I'm with you there, I find group situations very scary and I'm sure I put people off talking to me, it must show in my face. I never forget when someone does take the time to speak to me though, thankfully there are some lovely people out there who don't have a problem approaching someone because they fear they will be rejected.

  5. coombemill

    I have certainly experienced this situation before, I think most women, however confident they appear, will be able to point to at least one time when they felt lonely and shy. Learning to understand situations like this and not take them personally is part of the wisdom that develops with age.

  6. Laura Asbury

    It's hard to not take rejection personally, but I agree we have to paint a smile on our face and muddle on through it. It means we can walk with our heads held high x

  7. Liz Burton

    Oh I'm so sorry you've gone through this. I'm always conscious to try and spot new people and make them feel welcome, it can be difficult though, especially when you're catching up with old friends, but it's no excuse.

  8. Pigeon Pair & Me

    Oh it's a such a shame you experienced this. I think you have a good attitude towards it. If I feel people are being frosty towards me, it makes me feel rubbish – but like you I do try and remind myself it's unlikely they're doing it on purpose.

  9. Erica Price

    It's tricky isn't it? I think part of the problem is that we are all as individuals all more open to new people on some days more than others. Also, with rejection sometimes it's more of an issue than at other times. I think we've all had some bad experiences, but I hope you won't let them get you down.

  10. bavariansojourn

    It's funny, it's not the big group things that phase me so much, there are some good sides to being an expat and that's not really caring about being rejected in this kind of situation, but in my family circles, and with close friends, I hate the idea… A horrible feeling!

  11. raisiebay

    I still have certain issues about rejection but I don't take them personally any more, as I've got older I've realised that it's not the rejection itself but all the missed opportunities I've had because of the fear of being rejected.

  12. raisiebay

    I'm really good at spotting people who look like they are feeling out of place, but I find it just as awkward to approach them. I'm also really good at attracting certain types of people when I'm left on my own, for example those who like to talk about themselves only.

  13. raisiebay

    Oh yes, I never think it's me at the time, but sometimes when I think back on it I do wonder if I did or said something wrong. I do try not to let it bother me too much though.

  14. Nadine Hill

    I love how you have turned a negative experience into a positive. Rejection almost certainly isn't personal, and learning to handle it well is a great skill to have for resilience. Everyone has felt this way at one time or another, but we can dust ourselves off and move on.

  15. TheMadHouse

    It is really hard to not take things personally and to carry that with you. I am so pleased that you felt the fear and carried on. Well done.

  16. loumessugo

    Having moved country so many times in my life I can really relate to this and as an attempt not to be like those that have rejected me I try so hard to be welcoming to new arrivals in any situation. I think most people fear rejection, but you're right to not put up with it.

  17. Nicola

    It's scary being the new girl or the odd one out in the room. I'm a firm believer in making sure I include others when they are new to a group. Keep trying and definitely don't feel rejected – I think people often don't even know that they're ignoring people…they are just too wrapped up in their own little worlds. #postsfromtheheart

  18. optrixxaris1

    Rejection is horrid but do you really want to be part of a rude, unfriendly gang? #PostsFromTheHeart

  19. The UnNatural Mother

    I am so oblivious to most things . My job means i have to talk to lots of new people each day and take board meetings so i bearly even notice if i am being ignored or not. As you said it's best not to take it personally and just keep smiling #PostsFromTheHeart

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