This is a revised post from my other blog which I wrote for a Special Saturday theme about toileting.
We started training Star when she was two years old, which I guess is about average in our part of the world. We tried a potty but she wouldn’t sit on it, we tried a toddler toilet seat but she wouldn’t use it. She hated not having a nappy on and despite trying every toilet training trick in the book we just couldn’t get her to go.
We gave up and left it for six months before trying again. Again we were not successful. We tried several different types of potties, one lovely one looked just like a throne, she liked it, but wouldn’t use it. We tried a Disney Princess toddler seat on the toilet with a special step. We even painted the littlest room in pretty pink so she would like it more in there. Every time we sat her down she would just scream the house down.
At three she started full time nursery. They suspended her a few weeks later and told us we could take her back when she was toilet trained. We’d tried to get away with it by using pull-ups but as Star was just not using the toilet at all she was soon found out.
So we just persevered and although it was a nightmare time we finally got her to pee on the toilet. She still screamed but at least she was peeing as well. After a while she got better and would stop the screaming and just go. We rarely had any accidents and pretty soon she was dry throughout the night too. Success.
But as we all know it’s not all about the pees. The poops are still an ongoing problem. Star suffered terribly with constipation for many years, eventually we got it under control with diet and sugar water and once they were softer she would go more often and get less constipated. But where she goes is in her pants. The past year she has got better, but she still starts to poo in her pants and then goes to the toilet. At school she just never goes, she waits until she gets home. Unfortunately just the other day was the first time she pooped herself at school and because of her age I had to go and clean her up. It was just before home time so I took her straight home afterwards and hopefully her classmates do not know what had happened as children can be so cruel.
We have talked about this problem with her psychologist who has promised to get her investigated as she may have a problem where she does not actually feel the need to go until it’s actually on it’s way out. It does seem that way but Star doesn’t understand. We have tried taking her to the toilet at the same time every day, about an hour after school, which is when the accidents tend to happen but even if we make her sit on the toilet she doesn’t do anything. Then she will poop her pants afterwards.
Going out is awkward but we just take a pair of pants and some wipes and just hope that we can get her to the toilet as soon as possible when it happens. We don’t know if this will problem will ever get any better, at the moment we don’t have much hope.
Update: This post was written in May 2013 …the problem was ongoing and we now have an official diagnosis of IBD, possibly Chron’s. Star has also been diagnosed with Elher’s Danlos Syndrome which can have an affect on bowel movements and control.
Glad we're not alone….I have a 5 year old who just wont poop on the toilet….She is quite happy to go in her pants…She pees in the toilet fine and there is no medical reason why she won't go to the toilet! Doctors, health visitors, the teachers at school, etc, etc have just said it will come with time as there is nothing medically wrong there is little they can do! We've tried sticker charts and god knows what else… It does not help us in the mean time though…
Toileting is so difficult. My eldest was not dry at night until 10 and my 8 yr old is still a night wetter. Very hard for them and us to understand and deal with.
Gosh, poor her, and poor you! I hope you get some resolution soon, or at least some help. We haven't really done much about toileting yet, just left a potty lying around. Our nearly 3 year old shows little interest, but I'm assuming she'll do it when she's ready. Such a difficult topic, and as you say, at school it could be a real problem for her. Our love and good wishes to you all! Lx
Aaron's going to be 3 in June and still not trained 🙁 – thank you so so much for your comment on @consciousmum.