I Hate Driving

Just seven weeks ago I picked up my new car. When I say new, it was really new and shiny and the most loveliest car I’ve ever had. I was so excited.

I’d not had a car of my own for more than two years. The last time I had taken out a loan to purchase a second hand car and I’d been totally ripped off. The car was purchased from a private seller and after two month I took it for an MOT test and the car had to be scrapped because it was dangerous. The experience was awful, I was left with no car and no money and the worry that I’d been driving around with my children in a dangerous car for two months. It did put me off.

Then the opportunity arose for me to have a new car and I have to admit it has been really difficult with all the hospital visits and appointments having to rely on public transport, taxis and lifts from friends and family. So a new car was just what we needed.

At first it was great, the car is a dream to drive. I have driven some awful cars in the past so it was so refreshing to have one so nice. We couldn’t wait to go out every day.

I don’t know exactly when things changed but I actually dread going out in the car now. I feel frightened and that makes me nervous and I’m worried that  my nerves will lead to me making a dangerous mistake. With a few weeks of having the car I ventured on the motorway and it was fine. I did get a little mixed up on the journey home but managed to rectify it and we arrived home just half hour later than expected. We did see a nasty accident on the motorway, it had happened sometime before and they were clearing up, but it was still disturbing. Maybe that spooked me?

Now I find every time  I venture out I see someone do something stupid, particularly at traffic islands. Do people know how to use islands? I think they should spend more time in lessons getting people to drive around islands, maybe even include it in the test, it’s more important than doing a three point turn. I see so many near misses, witness so many people in a hurry that they pay no regards to anyone else on the road, see stupidity everywhere. Is it me? Have I lost my nerve being on the road?

I’ve been a driver for more than fifteen years and in that time I’ve had one minor accident and a couple of bumps while parking…(stupid concrete posts in car parks!) Nothing serious and no-one has ever been hurt.
I do consider myself a safe driver, although I still have a little trouble parking.

My partner has suddenly become the worst passenger ever. He was fine when I was driving him around before, but since then he’s had a few driving lessons himself. Now he thinks he’s a better driver than me and I’m dangerous. He says it’s because he was involved in an accident before, but not while I was driving. He makes me feel even more nervous and nerves are not good while driving. I find myself concentrating really hard every second I’m in the car. I’ve stopped listening to the radio and ignore the kids. The road is all I think about. And driving has stopped being fun.

I’m determined not to let this beat me though. In the last week or two I’ve been tempted to give the car back, really, it’s been that bad. However, I know we need it, and the kids would be devestated. Will get my confidence back?

So, am I a total nutcase? Have you ever felt like this? How can I help myself feel better? Do offer any advice you can, I think I need it.

Thanks xx

The day I got my car


  1. September 18, 2014 / 8:38 am

    You are not insane. So stop thinking that.

    I think I am a pretty good driver if not a little too cautious, and I also watch people making mistakes, I think they are going to swerve over to my lane on the motorway, not stop at a junction (all of these happen to me regularly) and some people running red lights to the danger of the other cars around. However, I also KNOW I am the WORST passenger lol because I am so cautious and watching everyone I shout out at my partner alot, push my imaginary brake on the floor, or grab the ceiling!! And he quite rightly hates it lol!

    The thing you have to remember is, as long as your are in control of the car, YOU are in CONTROL of the car! Tell your partner to shut up, he can discuss driving when he has driven as long as you! Try not to over concentrate, it will give you headaches and all sorts. But, obviously, keep an eye on the road. Just turn the radio on quietly at first and gradually increase the volume.

    You can do it!

    Jess – http://followingfordith.blogspot.co.uk/

  2. September 19, 2014 / 12:08 pm

    Maybe it would help if you can spend more time driving the car on your own with no passengers, that way you have less to worry about whilst you try to regain your confidence?

    • September 21, 2014 / 8:14 pm

      Good idea Andre, I do feel happier on my own, atlhough still concentrating hard. Things have just go worse with road works nearby meaning that all traffic is directed in our direction and there is no escape!

  3. September 19, 2014 / 1:49 pm

    Oh Anne I'm sorry to hear this. I really hope and pray you will get that confidence back. I think something probably did startle you and it might just take a bit of time to get over that but then it will be fine. We had a very minor accident many years ago where another car squeezed through a small gap and hit our wing mirror. No-one hurt, nothing major just a new mirror for us and them needed and yet for ages and ages after (probably a good 6 months to a year) I got extremely terrified of driving down narrower roads or where there were cars parked on both sides. It got ridiculous as it was such a silly fear (and it hadn't even been me driving when the wing mirrors hit) and yet it had somehow subconsciously affected me so much. I remember praying about it a lot and then one day I noticed that the tricky bit of road I really feared suddenly was no longer an issue. Even now it is fine and I wonder why it had been such a big deal but it really had been an issue for no logical reason. Like you I believe I am a safe and wise driver but I think as I've grown older I have become aware of the dangers of the road and other people driving dangerously and that has made me worry. I'm sure it will pass and that it is just a temporary feeling and I know it doesn't help much to say just to bear with it – but please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and I hope you will get that confidence back soon. xxx

    • September 21, 2014 / 8:16 pm

      Thank you Rebecca. I know of a few people now who have lost the confidence to drive for a long time, I'm just hoping I can overcome this so I can carry on because if I let it beat me then I know I could be in the same position. I'm still driving but avoiding any long journeys for now. I always used to worry about getting lost, but that feels like the least of my worries now 🙁 xxx

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