We all want to do our very best for our children; we want them to feel safe, happy and loved and we certainly want them to grow to be successful adults who can stand on their own two feet. It is rather unfortunate then that most of us parents do things out of love that don’t do our kids any favours.
Here are some common things that most parents think are acts of love, but which can actually lead to poor outcomes for their children:
Keeping Them Away from a Parent
There are lots of parents who keep their kids away from their mother or father out of spite following a divorce, but there are also lots of parents who keep their kids away from a parent because they think it will be the best for them – divorce law firms like Austin Kemp Solicitors see it all the time. The thing is, these parents are often prejudiced and unless the other parent has been shown to be a risk to the kids, no matter how awful they may be in other ways, allowing them to maintain some contact is more likely to make them happy and enable them to grow up without worries. So, if they’re a good parent despite their other faults, don’t freeze them out.
Treating Them Like Kings and Queens
Us parents naturally want to make out children feel like they are special, but if we spoil them and we are lax in the discipline department, there is a good chance that this will lead to them feeling entitled and unable to take any criticisms in the future. So, although there’s nothing wrong with buying them something nice or giving them praise now and again, you should also ensure that their actions have consequences and that they must earn most of their privileges.
Not Letting Them Work
There are few children who have weekend jobs in 2018 and although that is partly because there just aren’t as many Saturday jobs available for the taking, it is much more the case that parents of not want their kids to work, They think that it will affect their studies or that they shouldn’t have to lift a finger when they are kids, and that can be really damaging. Why? Because we all need to earn a living and the sooner that kids get used to working and the fruits of that work, the sooner they will understand its importance and get used to doing it.
Wrapping Them Up in Cotton Wool
It’s every parent’s natural instinct to want to protect their child from harm, and although you certainly do need to do this, especially when they’re young, by teaching them how to cross the road and telling them not to get too close to the fire, for example, you should not take it too far. If you stop your kids from playing out with other children, climbing trees in the garden and generally doing the kind of things we did when we were kids in favour of staying in doors, not only will they become idle couch potatoes, but they’ll never learn how to manage risks, and they’re more likely to become anxious inexperienced adults as a result.
Love your kids, protect them and always be there for them, but don’t coddle them!
What do you think? Do you agree or not? I will admit to have an tendency to wrap my kids in cotton wool, and I know I could do more to encourage independence. But I certainly agree with the first one and I’ve never kept my two older children from seeing their Dad.
This is a collaborative post.