parenting

My Sunday Snapshot and Ordinary Moments, Calm

September 13, 2020 by Anne Sweet 6 Comments

image shows a red oil burner with a rose shaped wax melt.

I still have a some of my Etsy gift vouchers left so this week I treated myself to a new oil burner. It came with some lovely little rose shaped wax melts that smell of lavender. I always associate lavender with peace and calm and that’s just what I feel I need right now.

Ordinary Moments – Calm

The kids haven’t been to school. They have had tummy bugs which has been highly unpleasant. Luckily most of the adults didn’t get sick which was a relief.

So, the girls haven’t actually been back to school yet and the Little Man has lost three days this week.

I have been in hospital having my treatment, although I have come home each evening. No worries about spreading anything in the hospital with all the COVID precautions. No visitors allowed, and I had to have my temperature taken before entering the ward. Then I was at least 2 metres from anyone else apart from the staff, and we were all masked.

Overall though, it’s been a stressful week and I’ve had so much going on in my head. This morning I wrote a (very long) brain dump blog post which will probably stay in my drafts, but it was very cathartic and now I feel calm.

It’s all about taking deep breaths and dealing with things as they happen. The kids are going back to school tomorrow and I have everything ready. I’m not sure how it’s going to go, but we’ll try our best and I’m going to try not to stress about it.

Everything else is just a blip in life. There is just too much to deal with right now and I can’t bury my head in the sand but I can do everything possible to install a feeling of calm in my home. I’m going to do this by stepping away from Social Media and focusing on the things I need to get ready for tomorrow. We will have a lovely Sunday Dinner (we are having a roast today, but it will be a late one as no-one is ready to eat at lunch time.) We will all shower and get our clothes ready for tomorrow. We will spend the evening playing games or watching television. Calm and peaceful and organised. Away from the chaos in the world.

Today we are going to keep calm.

The rest of the week will happen no matter what.

Facebook Memories

March 11, 2020 by Anne Sweet 2 Comments

Every now and then I like to look through my Facebook memories and copy some of them here. My family have given me so much to smile about over the years and I love the little reminders I get.

Here is my latest collection.

The Book of the Dead

2009 8th march

went to the cemetery today and Star got excited about all the ‘books’ to read

I guess tombstones are pretty exciting to a four year old, especially one that’s just started to learn to read. Some of them do look like books, in fact our family plot has a book for a gravestone, but all the pages are full now. I’ve already decided I want to be scattered beneath a cherry tree, something they’ve started doing at our cemetery.

First Steps

2012 1st march
Today The Little Man walked across the living room, turned around and walked back! Then he walked to the middle of the room and turned around twice!! The grin on his face was amazing (so was the one on mine) I hope this means he’s going to finally gain the confidence to walk properly now. He’s still really unsteady like he might fall at any minute, and he drags his right foot a little, but I’m sure now that he actually knows he can do it he will practice more and get it right. Then I can buy him some new trousers with the knees still intact 🙂

Recording when your child walks for the first time is really special. It was even more special with the Little Man because at this time he was twenty months old. All my other children had walked shortly before or after their first birthday, The Little Man was closer to his second. He didn’t even crawl, the most he managed was a bottom shuffle. He was also slow talking, and the health visitor was beginning to get worried. At two and a half he started a pre-nursery group and suddenly he caught up very quickly with all the other children. He even toilet trained before he was three years old. He is pretty bright now and well on par with his peers. He just has sensory and behaviour issues. It’s hard to believe he had such a slow start in life though.

I don’t have my older children’s first steps recorded on Facebook memories as they are too old 🙁

The Science Experiment

2015
Not sure exactly what Star was doing in science today but she came home smelling like a can of air freshener… I’ve just put her uniform in the wash with graham’s socks!!

Star would have been in year five at school and I never did find out exactly what she had been doing. I guess it’s good she came home smelling better than her Dad’s socks though.

Sister Love

2018
We have a poorly~Star who was sent home from school and took to her bed before dinner. So just before bedtime Boo warmed up Star’s ‘hottie’ in the microwave and made her some toast. She’s the sister I always wanted, what a little sweetheart.

I think this needs no explanation. Boo is such a caring child, who wouldn’t want a sister like her.

Sleepover

2020
Boo, while on her phone texting her best friend. “K said can I go for a sleepover.” Me, ” it depends what day but it should be okay”
Boo, “K said I can go over on Tuesday as there is no school.”
Me ” ok, that will be good” then as an afterthought “has K asked her parents about this?”
Boo “no, she’s going to ask them now.”
2 mins later “k’s parents said no.”
Guess who is coming for a sleepover at our house on Tuesday!

Boo is constantly texting her friend from school. She texts her in the morning before school, and as soon as she gets home she’s texting her again. They really are good friends. They often make plans without asking us though, their parents. I know they are 12 years old, but they still need to ask us about staying out all night. It did make me laugh though, they spent 20 minutes planning Boo’s sleepover at K’s house, without asking K’s parents.

Her friend was unable to come over and stay in the end, but we are making more concrete arrangements for her to come and stay over the Easter Holiday. She’s a lovely girl so it should be fine, so long as Star can deal with someone staying over.

That’s all I have for now but if you enjoyed this you may enjoy some of my other facebook memories posts.

Funny Memories of the Things My Kids Have Said

Kids Say and Do the Funniest Things (My latest Offerings)

Kids and Mums, Say and Do the Funniest Things

Kids Say and Do the Funniest Things

My Sunday Snapshot – The Halo

March 1, 2020 by Anne Sweet 8 Comments

I’m a bit late, yesterday was Rare Disease Day 2020 and I wanted to do a post. We have lots of rare to share! Instead, I’ve decided to show you my brave little girl back in 2014 in the halo.

Star in the halo, standing by the car — *Star in the halo*

Star had to wear the halo twice, for three months at a time. She has a rare condition called Elher’s Danlos Syndrome, which means her connective tissue is lax.

We knew something wasn’t right from when she was very young. At the age of three the hospital thought she may have a type of juvenile arthritis because of the pain in her joints. But despite everything it was only after the muscles in her neck gave way that anything was done.

Summer 2013

I remember it so well, the kids had broken up for the summer and we were getting ready to move house. Then one morning Star woke up with a sore throat. By the end of the day she was holding her head onto one side. When we realised she couldn’t straighten it, we took her to the GP who said she had tonsillitis and gave her anti-biotics.

The next day we decided it was so much worse she needed a trip to A&E. We were told she had a torticollis and it would correct itself within 48 hours. Two days later we were back at A&E, nothing had changed. Because Star had not had an accident they didn’t seemed concerned, but I was. On our fourth visit to A&E I told a white lie and said she’d fallen off her scooter. She had, before she hurt her neck, but she hadn’t seemed hurt at all at the time, maybe a bruise on her knee. But this meant action and she was taken for a scan. Then she was immediately admitted to hospital with a rotary subluxation of the atlanto occipital joint. In fact the subluxation was so bad that part of her disc had deteriorated.

Layman’s Terms

Star’s lax neck muscles had meant that the discs at the top of her spine had twisted away from the joint that connects her spine to her skull. Pretty scary stuff.

It took 18 months to fix. First with physio, which made it worse. Then with a manipulation under a general anesthetic and the first halo, but that didn’t work. Then finally it was fixed with a bone graft from her skull and two screws with a titanium plate to hold her neck in place. Oh, and the halo returned for another 3 months.

Now, 5 years later, she is fine. She has some impressive scar down the back of her neck, and a spot on her head where her hair doesn’t grow properly from where she had the bone graft taken. Also, she has several round scars where the halo was screwed in but they are fading with time.

My Rare Girl in the Halo

We were often asked how Star slept in the halo so I took a photo of her. Some people believed the halo came off at bedtime but that’s not the case. The halo is screwed into the skull, yes, I had to clean the screws. The bars where attached to a hard plastic vest which was locked in place. It came with it’s own alan key strapped to the front in case of the need of emergency entrance to her heart. The inside of the plastic vest was lined with fur for comfort, good job it was summer! Finding clothes was a nightmare, thank goodness she was too young to really care. Bathing and washing her hair was even worse. I’d spend at least 10 minutes wrapping the vest in black bags so it wouldn’t get wet, and then she’d sit in about four inches of water in the bath while I washed her.

It was during this time that the surgeon had noticed that her ligaments were lax and this eventually led to her diagnosis of Elher’s Danlos Syndrome. Her joints can pop out at any time. Only last week her ankle popped out while she was walking down the stairs and I had to pop it back into place. You do get used to it after a while.

So I may have missed Rare Disease Day yesterday but today I’m celebrating my brave, special and very rare not so little girl. She copes so well and I’m so proud of her.

Do check out my competition to win a fabulous bean bag chair from Beanbag Bazaar

Also, I have a code offering 25% discount from Photowall, wallpaper, canvas, prints, framed prints etc.

Home Economics

January 30, 2020 by Anne Sweet Leave a Comment

Fresh in my memory as if it was yesterday. A large Home Economics classroom, split into Masterchef type kitchenettes only placed in a square rather than in rows. The students would be assigned a kitchen area, maybe in pairs, sometimes alone. We would be given a recipe and the ingredients and told to cook. We’d also be taught how to lay a table and to serve our food properly. Afterwards we would wash up, the pans had to be spotless, even cleaning under the rims and the lids. The teacher would stand over our shoulder and make sure the job was done properly. My friend had a dishwasher at home, but she was the only person I knew who had one back then.

Back in the 80’s it was just called cookery, but later it became Home Economics. In another room nearby we would learn all about babies, not just the ‘facts of life’ but the whole caboodle, pregnancy, giving birth, looking after a baby, changing nappies, making formula bottles. It was called ‘Child Care’ and I did a C.S.E (Certificate of Secondary Education) in it and got top grades. I had to change the nappy on a baby doll and make up a bottle of formula during my exam. I took the lesson because it was an easy pass, and girls were not allowed to take woodwork or computer studies. An embarrassing memory I have of the lessons is watching a film on childbirth during which I passed out. Yes! I am a Mum of five.

Learning Life Skills, or Home Economics

From the tender age of seven I would make my Mum, Nan and Aunties cups of tea. It was no bother, I’d be told to do it and I would. Sometimes I had a cousin or two to help. We’d take our time and chatter in the kitchen, having a giggle while we prepared six or seven cups of tea and putting them on a tray with a bowl of sugar. Occasionally there would be a shout from the living room to get a move on.

From the age of twelve I would do the washing. In those days we had a ‘twin tub’ washing machine. I would have to fill one side up with water, put in the dirty washing and washing powder. Then switch it on. When the timer was finished, I’d use the pipe to drain it in the kitchen sink, then fill it with cold water and do the rinse cycle. After this cycle I’d move the wet clothes over to the spin dryer and spin them. The final task was to either hang them on the clothes line in the back garden, or put them on the clothes horse in the kitchen depending on the weather.

The clothes were then stored in the ‘airing cupboard’ until it was time to iron them. And yes, I would iron them too. I actually have fond memories of washing and ironing, even though it would take hours. I guess there wasn’t the attraction of getting lost on a computer screen back then, although playing out with my friends may have been compromised.

On Saturdays my Mum would go to my Nan’s and leave me in charge of the housework. The living room would be vacuumed and polished and all the cushions turned. I didn’t mind, I’d put my lp’s on the stereo on and sing and dance while I worked. What was I listening too? Probably a bit of Culture Club or Human League.

I think my Mum had at least one hundred ornaments which had to be lifted, dusted and polished underneath. I think that’s why I really don’t like ornaments in my own home. Thinking back now, my Mum’s ornaments would probably be worth a fortune, she had Capodemonte, silver ware and even Murano glass fish.

My Own Kids

I left home at the age of 22 I had a baby and a home of my own. What I’d been taught was handy but the thought that I’d be doing it for the rest of my life felt depressing. I was determined that my kids would enjoy their child hood and I wouldn’t make my children do housework.

Was I right?

I guess at the time I felt I was, but even though my kids have grown up now I’m not not sure. They are not hopeless, they can both cook a little and keep their rooms clean. My eldest will help me with the housework whenever he can. He empties the dishwasher and vacuums the stairs and landing. If they lived alone though, I think they would have a huge ‘wake up’ call. They still have no idea just how difficult home economics really is.

My Younger Kids

I think they do more than my older kids ever did, but I do think that these days it’s even more important to teach home economics at home. At this moment in time I’m thinking I should make them do more.

Boo can make us tea and coffee, but only does it occasionally. All my kids can cook a little, but generally rely on me for food. Boo will vacuum occasionally, but none of them help with the laundry.

I’ve decided to make some changes. It’s not child labour. I really thought my Mum was taking advantage of me, and she probably was to some extent. But the life skills I learnt were a lot more than the lessons I learnt at school. And these days, they don’t teach those lessons at school anymore.

I’m going to get my kids to help with the laundry. It’s a lot easier these days, filling up a washing machine and tumble dryer. But it would be a huge help to me even if they did it once or twice a week. The dishwasher is easy to empty and fill. (well, not for me as I can’t bend,) but the kids could manage it, so why shouldn’t they? They could also learn how to wipe down the work surfaces in the kitchen and maybe clean the microwave. Very easy jobs. Then I’ll get them cleaning the bathrooms. (At this point in time, I’m the only person who cleans the bathrooms, so that would be a huge help.)

At the weekend and sometimes during the holidays I get them to make their own lunch. It’s usually something simple like quesadillas or sausage sandwiches. Maybe it’s time to get them to cook some more? I remember having a birthday party for Boo where I got her and her friends to cook the party food. They made pizza’s in a production line.Then I gave them Ice cream, fruit and sprinkles and they made Knickerbocker Glory for dessert. They also made some Rocky Road which I gave them in party bags to take home. I was surprised at how little the other children knew about cooking, my kids were obviously cooking more even at that age.

home economics, children making knickerbocker glory desserts. — *making Knicker bocker glory*

Another job I think they could manage is mopping the floor. I have a steam mop which makes the job pretty easy, but it’s still hard work for me. I think they’d maybe find it fun?

Child Labour or Not?

When I was young I honestly believed my Mum was just using me as child labour, but she was a carer for my Nan, her Mum, and she did everything for her. So I guess she did enough and my work was a huge help even if it didn’t feel like it too me. I wish she’d spent more time cooking with me. She wasn’t a very inventive cook and our meals were boring and bland.

I’m glad I learnt my laundry skills. I think I need to teach my children how to do laundry at least. It’s not hard, but it’s necessary. My older kids believe that their laundry is done by the fairies. They bring their washing basket of dirty clothes down, and their clean clothes re-appear folded and fresh ready for them them put away in their rooms. I want my younger kids to take more part in how their laundry is done.

Making Changes

Starting as soon as possible I’m going to get my younger kids to help out more. The adults in the house are not much use. I know my daughter works long hours so I can forgive her, but if she moved into her own place I think she would struggle. My eldest son would cope, apart from cooking. He’d probably live on microwave meals.

I want my children to be much more independent. And sooner rather than later.

As far as I can see, the only drawback is that I like doing everything ‘my way’ and it would be hard letting them take over. I also get a lot of satisfaction of cleaning. In fact, it helps me focus and improves my mood. You can tell when I’m miserable, my home will be sparkling! I don’t want my kids to take over, but I do think it would be good for them, and helpful for me, if they did do more around the house.

What do you think? Do your children help around the house much? Is it right to make them help? Do they do home economics at school? Please let me know your views in the comments.

Changing Personalities – 2020

January 7, 2020 by Anne Sweet 3 Comments

Back in 2014, which seems a lifetime ago now, I looked at the three personalities of my youngest children. They were 9, 7 and 4 years old at the time.

Then in 2017, I took another look at them to see their changes when they were 11, 9 and 6 years old.

So now it’s a new decade and another 3 years, so I thought I’d do the same again and see what changes have been made in their personalities.

The Little (Monster) Man

The Little Man is now 9 years old, my baby will be 10 this year! I think these photos sum him up quite nicely. He’s funny, sweet, and a real pain in the backside. He still can’t sit still for five minutes, he still has the attention span of a newt. The only time he’s really happy is if he’s glued to a screen.

He changed schools due to a lot of bullying that actually had him ending up in A&E with a fractured arm. He’s much happier now and his new school is lovely. The teachers get frustrated with his behaviour but are much more understanding. He is now officially diagnosed on the Autistic Spectrum and he reminds me a lot of my eldest when he was his age. He can be so much trouble! But I’m still getting hugs and kisses for now.

Boo the Tween

Boo is older, but one thing that hasn’t changed is her concentration and dedication to a task. Back in 2014 we had a 7 year old Boo concentrating on her decoupage, and now you can see her concentrating on painting her pottery.

She’s still highly strung, it’s very easy to set her off into a strop. She’s got all the emotions and some! Boo is now at Secondary school with Star and still has her close circle of friends. She is immature for her age though and doesn’t like the girls who are interested in make-up or boys. She does spend a lot more time on her tablet or phone, she loves You Tube and watches it for hours. (Don’t worry, I vet what she watches.) She also spends a long time sending texts to her school friends, but none of them are on Social Media yet. That’s one thing I’m dreading.

She is caring and will look out for her friends. Whenever we go out anywhere she doesn’t want to leave me, she feels she has a duty to look after me even though I’ve never asked her to.

She still likes to play with her sister sometimes but they have certain routines that they always stick too, and she will refuse to play with Star if it’s not the ‘right’ time.

Star the Teen

In September this year, my little Star will be going to be starting her final year at school! She’s not keen on having her photo taken but I’m sharing one from our holiday last year. We spent a day at Paradise Park in Cornwall and Star loved it. She really loves animals of all kinds and was thrilled to get close to this parrot. I’m pretty sure that she’d be well suited to job with animals.

Star has done really well at school, she gets lots of support but a lot she manages by herself. She has some close friends and contacts them out of school sometimes. Again, she has no interest in Social Media so no worries there. She loves playing video games and reading. Her older brother takes her out to buy new Manga every month and she loves it. When we were on holiday she had her nose stuck in a book nearly all the time. Well, apart from when we were at Paradise Park.

We are still waiting for a definite diagnosis but her geneticist believes she may have Marfan Syndrome. She’s now just a little bit taller than me at 5ft 8 inches. She has 3 yearly check ups on her heart and yearly check ups on her neck. So far it’s good, but I’m glad they keep a close eye on her.

Their Future Personalities

If I do this recap again in three years it will probably only feature The Little Man as the girls will be too old. That makes me feel kind of sad, but I’m also happy that I’ve recorded all these changes on my blog. I hope you have enjoyed them too. Have you noticed the changes in personalities of your children?

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