The Little Man is Going Back to School

I took the Little Man out of school a year ago. He was being bullied and we tried to work with them for nearly a year to make it stop. When nothing worked I just couldn’t face my boy coming home crying again after being hurt, so I de-registered him. He didn’t want to be Home Educated but we set to getting him working at home while I applied for school after school in the area. There were no places available mid term, plus it was coming to the end of the school year which made it harder.

After the school summer holiday last year I started applying to schools again and started up The Little Man’s Home Ed. We joined a home education group but a lot of the activities were at times that just didn’t work for us. He did however join Home School of Rock where he spent his Fridays learning about music.

He was offered a place at another school but after having an interview there we was horrified to see one of his former bullies in the playground. This meant he instantly refused to go there.

We kept trying to get him into school and were offered help from a project in the area that worked with children out of school. They came to the house and it all sounded really good. Then they tried to make me send him back to his old school. When I refused they told me they couldn’t help me as I wasn’t doing anything they asked!!

A Year Later!

As another school year was approaching its end we were contacted by the Local Authority saying that seeing as we wanted The Little Man to go to school, they were obliged to help us under their ‘Fair Access to School’ policy. Great, I thought, at last he would be offered another school place.

By this time I’d tried two online schooling programs, spent loads on Home Educational resources and we were at the stage where The Little Man was completely fed up of it all and only wanted to go on his computer. The School of Rock has been going well, but he needs to learn more than music. He wanted to go to school, and there was nothing I could do. I am quite capable of teaching up to GCSE level, but he just didn’t want to work at home. He wanted peer interaction but we couldn’t get to the groups because of transport and time restrictions. (If only I wasn’t disabled!)

So, we waited to hear what would happen and then I got a phone call from the LA. They were going to hold a meeting with 15 schools in the area and if any of them had spaces then they would ‘have’ to offer them for my Little Man to choose from. We were excited.

The Excitement Didn’t last

Before the meeting took place we were called by the Little Man’s previous school head teacher and told that he had to go back there. Because he had not been off the register for more than 12 months (it was exactly 11 months and 51 weeks!) they were obliged to take him back. The LA told us that if we refused a school under Fair Access then the Little Man would be entitled to no further help. The other schools did not have to offer a place. It felt like a big con!

My head was a whirl, It really wasn’t the result I wanted. The Little Man says he’s okay with it, he just wants to go back to school.

If you want an idea of how bad the school is, when I told his sister, Boo, who has just finished year 11 at the same school, she burst into tears. She begged me not to send him back there as she claims it was a nightmare for her. We know she has had problems but during her last year she has had lots of help. I didn’t realise just how stressful school was for her. Her attendance was 94% in the last year, whereas it had been 46% the year before. I thought things were better for her, but it was only because of all the help she was getting. Not only that, but we have recently discovered that Boo is great at masking her feelings. Star has always been open with her feelings and I thought that Boo was the same, but we can’t take it for granted that just because one child opens up to you, your other children will too.

Back to the Little Man… The headteacher told me last week that he would have a phased return to school. Today I was told by the admissions person that they did not do phased returns and he shouldn’t need one as he’s been home educated. I told her what the head had said only last week and she called me back after speaking with him. Tomorrow morning we have a meeting with the school and the Little Man, and the SENDco and he will have a phased return starting next week.

I have dug out his uniform and nothing but his blazer fits, I’m so glad I bought an oversized one. I will need to buy him shirts and trousers over the weekend.

I am so unhappy about this. I really don’t think it’s a good idea, but I don’t know what else to do. I am going to be super vigilant and make sure I know exactly how he feels each day. He is okay about going back to school, I don’t know if he remembers how bad it made him feel before. I just want him to be happy and to keep learning.

I found this post on Emotionally Healthy kids on How to Prepare Children Emotionally for back to school extremely useful.

If your child is starting school for the first time you might want to look at this books on The Ladybird Adventures.