Today marks a whole year since my husband walked out on me. It’s my first year singleversary! I’ll be celebrating with cake later! Red Velvet, my favourite.
The date was actually 8th but thanks to it being a leap year, it’s a day late. He walked out on me on a Sunday. No, warning, no saying he would be going, no fight, nothing. I was actually playing Sims on my computer on the Saturday afternoon when he said he was going to his Mum’s. Then he texted me to say he wasn’t coming home and he was collecting his stuff the next day. And that was that. He just didn’t love me anymore and he wanted to go.
I can’t say it’s been easy, it’s been one of the worst years of my life, but something happened earlier this year and now my eyes are finally open wide and I feel happier. Not happy, but I do not want him back, I do not feel that ache of grief anymore, I do not want to be with someone who thought so little of me. I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope but I have. I made it to a whole year and not only have I coped I have thrived. Just like my Parlour Palm above. I know there is no such word as singleversary, but that’s what I’m celebrating today!
There is a story behind the palm, it was given to me by a friend after helping her out. It was a thank you gift. When she gave it to me it was tiny and I’ve re-potted three times in the past three years. It’s thriving (unlike most plants I’ve cared for.)
This friend had split from her husband and was having a tough time. I talked to her for hours and comforted her. But then she started talking to my husband instead. He said it was because she wanted to talk late at night when he knew I’d be too tired. He asked me if I minded talking to her and I said no. She later told me that he’d told her not to bother me anymore as I was too sick to talk to her. I trusted them both.
Shortly after my husband left he moved in with her, but only for one night. (I think.) He told me in his own words, that he mistook her kindness for something else. She told me she wasn’t interested in him in that way. Either way, I have never forgiven her for taking him in after he left me. I wanted to throw the plant in the bin, but I didn’t, I cared for it and it has grown.
I have grown.
I have learnt that I don’t need such people in my life and that I can cope on my own.
He was a fool. He’d fallen out of love with me but fallen for someone who didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Now he’s alone, just like me. But, finally, I am happy.
I’m not scared of the future anymore and in fact, I’m looking forward to it. I would rather spend my life alone that with someone who cared so little for me.
We are still friends, we have children together. We spend time together, but our relationship is over.
Someone said to me out of sh*t good things grow, and my Parlour Palm plant is evidence of that.
Sometimes the trash takes itself out. In the long run, I think this will be good a thing as you continue to flourish on your own. Happy Singleversery!
A lot of people of said that to me, I am feeling much more relieved now.
Good to hear, Anne. You’re some woman!
Thank you Enda, I don’t feel so good some days but I’ve definitely turned a corner lately.
Good on you for celebrating! You have got through such a tough year you really deserve to treat yourself!
Oh no, her taking him in even for one night was wrong! You are better off without her in your life.
I am glad your plant has grown and thrived and you have found happiness without him. x
I remember when my ex-husband called me at work to say he wouldn’t be home. It was over. It was devastating to me, but as you said, we grow and get stronger. Happy Singleversary! I hope you have an even better year to come. #MMBC
Wow! What a post. You have done so well this year. You seem to be an amazing, strong woman. Keep going.
Well done on making it through such a tough year, Anne. I really hope that the next one is better for you and the rest of your family. Take care.
#MMBC
Congratulations on your singleversary and making it through that first tough year.
I was fuming about your ‘friend’, but love that the plant is thriving, just like you.
Happy Singleversary – good for you celebrating the event. Thanks for linking up and sharing your snaps with #MySundaySnapshot.
I’m glad to hear you’re feeling happier with yourself, sorry you’ve had to go through all of this. Hope you enjoyed your celebratory Red Velvet Cake. Thanks for sharing with us at #pocolo