My First Year Singleversary and a Parlour Palm Plant

Today marks a whole year since my husband walked out on me. It’s my first year singleversary! I’ll be celebrating with cake later! Red Velvet, my favourite.

The date was actually 8th but thanks to it being a leap year, it’s a day late. He walked out on me on a Sunday. No, warning, no saying he would be going, no fight, nothing. I was actually playing Sims on my computer on the Saturday afternoon when he said he was going to his Mum’s. Then he texted me to say he wasn’t coming home and he was collecting his stuff the next day. And that was that. He just didn’t love me anymore and he wanted to go.

I can’t say it’s been easy, it’s been one of the worst years of my life, but something happened earlier this year and now my eyes are finally open wide and I feel happier. Not happy, but I do not want him back, I do not feel that ache of grief anymore, I do not want to be with someone who thought so little of me. I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope but I have. I made it to a whole year and not only have I coped I have thrived. Just like my Parlour Palm above. I know there is no such word as singleversary, but that’s what I’m celebrating today!

There is a story behind the palm, it was given to me by a friend after helping her out. It was a thank you gift. When she gave it to me it was tiny and I’ve re-potted three times in the past three years. It’s thriving (unlike most plants I’ve cared for.)

This friend had split from her husband and was having a tough time. I talked to her for hours and comforted her. But then she started talking to my husband instead. He said it was because she wanted to talk late at night when he knew I’d be too tired. He asked me if I minded talking to her and I said no. She later told me that he’d told her not to bother me anymore as I was too sick to talk to her. I trusted them both.

Shortly after my husband left he moved in with her, but only for one night. (I think.) He told me in his own words, that he mistook her kindness for something else. She told me she wasn’t interested in him in that way. Either way, I have never forgiven her for taking him in after he left me. I wanted to throw the plant in the bin, but I didn’t, I cared for it and it has grown.

I have grown.

I have learnt that I don’t need such people in my life and that I can cope on my own.

He was a fool. He’d fallen out of love with me but fallen for someone who didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Now he’s alone, just like me. But, finally, I am happy.

I’m not scared of the future anymore and in fact, I’m looking forward to it. I would rather spend my life alone that with someone who cared so little for me.

We are still friends, we have children together. We spend time together, but our relationship is over.

Someone said to me out of sh*t good things grow, and my Parlour Palm plant is evidence of that.