This week I am feeling apprehensive. I could say I was feeling fear, or anxiety, or that I’m terrified of what the future may bring. Actually, I like to be more positive, so pushing the more horrible feelings aside, I’m going with apprehensive.
We heard from Star’s consultant. Yay! At last! He told us she would be admitted sometime in the next six weeks. First she will have another manipulation under a general anaesthetic and another halo will be applied. Then one week later they will take her to theatre again and put a metal plate fixed with tiny screws into her spine. Into the back of her neck.
It’s such a lot for a little girl to go through.
I don’t want her to feel any pain, I don’t want her to suffer, I just want her well again.
So, it’s good news that they are finally doing something to help her, but at the same time I’m apprehensive about it will all go, how it will all turn out in the end. It’s going to be tough for all of us, but mostly for Star. I so wish she didn’t have to go through this. I so wish I didn’t have to go through this. The waiting is going to be a nightmare.
So many fears trying to take over my mind, so many worries about the future. I just want to hold my little girl and make everything ok again. This is one boo boo mummy can’t kiss away.
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