I Carried Towels up the Stairs.

I carried some towels upstairs.
Such a simple statement don’t you think?
This is how I did it.

First I grabbed the towels and put them under my right arm.
My right arm is the strongest but the bannister on the left hand side of the stairs was fitted for me as it’s stronger, easier to hold and goes all the way up the stairs including the bends. The bannister on the right only goes up the straight stairs and cannot be grabbed as easy. I wouldn’t really call it a bannister.
So, I have towels under my right arm and now I have to go upstairs with just one hand.
You may think this is easy but it’s not for me.
My legs don’t work properly so when I go upstairs I use my upper body to drag my legs up the stairs. Each foot has to slide up the stairs one at a time.
It’s hard work with two hands.
It’s even harder with one.

I did it though. One handed, I dragged my body up the stairs all the way to the top and I put the towels in the airing cupboard.

I was exhausted! If you are familiar with the spoon theory I could tell you that I used up most of my spoons for that day doing that one exercise.

Such a simple task, one that I would have done with ease last year. As soon as the tumble drier finished I’d fold the clothes and take them upstairs. Now I have to ask someone else to do it for me and I find that frustrating.

Today has not been a good day. In fact it started last night when I had difficulty sleeping because my feet had gone into spasm. Eventually the drugs kicked in and I slept, having the most weirdest dreams that freaked me out. Luckily I don’t remember them. I do wonder if it’s the drugs though, I never used to have freaky dreams before.

This morning I woke up with spasms in my feet, which had probably been there all night, spasms in my legs, my right arm and my back. I couldn’t move. I was scared, I’ve been paralysed before and I really don’t want that to happen again. Eventually, using my bed guard I managed to drag myself into a sitting position and reached for my pills. My bedside table looks like a pharmacy, it used to look like a bookshop.

After a while, and a helping hand from my other half I managed to get to my feet. I washed and dressed and went downstairs. I’ve felt dreadful all day, but the spasms have mostly stopped, just my feet and my back have continued.

Today has not been a good day, tomorrow will be better.
This year has not been a good year, next year will be better.

I want to sit on the floor and play with my Little Man and his lego.
I want to run around the park playing games with my kids.
I want to do my housework, my way, without being exhausted in just five minutes.
I want my life back!

I have hope, recovery for Transverse Myelitis can take up to two years. I’ve only had it six months, things can certainly get better.

Today was not a good day, but yesterday I carried towels up the stairs.


  1. July 5, 2016 / 11:21 am

    I guess recovery is like that: a step forward, a shuffle back. Let's hope there will be more towel carrying days in the future. x

  2. July 5, 2016 / 12:18 pm

    A close member of my family has legs that don't work. This is an awfully simplistic way of stating what is wrong, there are other things too (aren't there always?!) but essentially he is wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. Another close member of my family is his carer. It can be a strain on both of them but there are good days and bad days and happy days and tiring days, but thankfully there are the days – they are both here, with us and keeping on. I'm glad that you carried the towels up the stairs. We have to celebrate our victories and I hope you have plenty of happy days too on your road to recovery. x

  3. July 5, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    You're focusing on the positives and that's really helpful. Well done on that achievement and here's to many more x

  4. July 5, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    You are doing great! Well done for carrying the towels upstairs. It's a great achievement!
    It must be so worrying to wake up feeling like you did but hang on in there. Sending hugs x

  5. TheMadHouse
    July 6, 2016 / 6:10 am

    I want to give you a hug. It is hard to live with a condition and you need to be gentle on yourself. You need to celebrate the small things. Getting those towels upstairs was an amazing feat.

  6. July 7, 2016 / 9:39 am

    Aw bless you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to cope with but you do an amazing job at staying positive x x

  7. July 7, 2016 / 10:23 am

    I do hope so, I have learnt from other sufferers that you can get to the stage where you feel almost normal again, but still have off days. I will look forward to feeling like that. x

  8. July 7, 2016 / 10:24 am

    So sorry for your family member, and there carer, it is really tough. With my condition no-one knows if or when I will get better because it's so rare. The only thing I do know is that I won't get any worse because they tested for brain damage and found none…small mercies x

  9. July 7, 2016 / 10:25 am

    I always try to be positive, I have down days but you just have to get on with things don't you x

  10. July 7, 2016 / 10:25 am

    I never know what I'm going to be from one day to the other, but so happy for the good ones. x

  11. July 7, 2016 / 10:26 am

    Thank you x Yes, I did feel proud, if exhausted afterwards.

  12. July 7, 2016 / 10:27 am

    Thank you, positivety is the key x

  13. Izzie Anderton
    July 7, 2016 / 10:50 am

    Well done for focusing on the positives no matter how small. Here's to the days ahead and many more positive experiences until you're fully recovered x

  14. rebeccabeesley
    July 7, 2016 / 8:08 pm

    it must be so frustrating and difficult for you and yet the towel carrying is progress so i feel happy for you for that reason. sorry to hear about how things got worse again with the spasms. Just hope that you keep seeing improvements day by day. xxx

  15. ChelseaMamma
    July 8, 2016 / 8:25 am

    That is great that you managed to get a simple task done and I understand your frustration at not being able to do more. Keep remaining positive xxx

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