chronic illness

Chronic Illness Writing Prompts for September

September 3, 2020 by Anne Sweet 12 Comments

Each month I link up with Sheryl over at A Chronic Voice and these are the chronic illness writing prompts she has set for September.

Writing Prompts for September

Feeling
Gruelling
Tempting
Running
Mending

Feeling

I think being at home so much means that you focus on your feelings a lot more. Sometimes it’s good, but sometimes it’s not. When we first went into lock down I felt scared but soon settled into a kind of peacefulness. We had passed the period where we knew we were safe and stayed home to keep it that way. Most people were doing the same so it didn’t feel like we were missing out. We were happy in our little bubble.

image shows a bubble to represent our happy, safe, family bubble

As time as gone on, my feelings have changed. I’ve found myself getting angry at people not taking the pandemic seriously. I’ve felt annoyed, sad, confused, misunderstood and practically any other feeling in between.

I missed my holiday this year, the change of scenery the peace of listening to the sea roll in, and the enjoyment of the children running around having fun. Instead we’ve been stuck at home, being entertained far too much by screens and totally missing any kind of pleasant scenery. I wish I had a nice garden but gardening is beyond my abilities and no-one else seems interested in helping out. Sometimes being at home has felt good, other times not so.

Gruelling

When you have a chronic illness sometimes getting out of bed is gruelling. Making your way through the day is gruelling, then trying to sleep at night is also practically impossible. I found some of the tropical nights we had this year particularly gruelling. I couldn’t sleep because I was way too hot, but the fan would give me a headache and having the window open just let in the noise of the neighbourhood. By the sound of it, I wasn’t the only person who couldn’t sleep but I don’t think I was quite so vocal about it. Probably because I wasn’t fuelled with alcohol.

Also, I have just had another MRI. I find these particularly gruelling, although I am getting used to them. The first one I ever had was abandoned when I had a panic attack. The second was so long it gave me nightmares. Since then I’ve learnt how to cope with them much better. This last one was not so bad at all. I had to be pinned down which I hate, but at least I didn’t have to wear a mask too. I was given ear plugs and head phones which I’ve not been offered before. It all helped to make it an easier experience. It’s just a shame that my body doesn’t like them either. When they pulled me out I’ve been lying still so long I couldn’t move. They had to wrench the panic button out of my hand and massage my limbs to get me feeling again. Then sitting up was incredibly painful. I was so disappointed because I’d managed so well while inside the machine.

Tempting

Quite the opposite, I think I’ve done really well in resisting tempation. I’ve cut down a lot on foods that are not good for me. I have made some big changes to my diet and it has definitely helped me health wise. I’ve had much less problems with bloating for one.

I’ve used Mindful Chef to help me improve my diet, it’s easy when you can get all you need given to you in one box to cook. But, I’m learning a lot and I hope that soon I will have a lot more on my menu that will help to make me feel better as well as full!

Running

I think, as someone who can’t use their legs, I’m going to use this prompt to write about the things running about in my head.

The COVID-19 virus is never far from my mind and it astonishes me that some people just don’t feel the same. People carry on as normal, adamant that the virus won’t affect their lives. And it’s true, for a lot of people it won’t, they could even catch it and recover in just a few weeks. They are the lucky ones. But would it hurt for them to think of others less fortunate?

I read something today that made me think again. More thoughts to add to the marathon in my mind. If someone has never experienced chronic illness then how can they understand how it affects a life. It’s not something that anyone can really understand, it’s hard enough to understand when you are living it day by day. I sometimes wonder how I’m going to carry on living when I know that each day will be filled with pain. Even to me it can be unthinkable.

If you have not experienced being sent to hospital in pain and then told, oh, we don’t know what to do, we can’t treat you, then there is no way that you would believe it to be true. But it is. If you are fit and healthy you instantly think that if you get sick then the doctors will fix you again. It’s not that simple, but it’s hard to think otherwise.

If you don’t have anyone in your life that you fear might die if they get the slightest illness, then how can you imagine what it would feel like having an invisible virus that’s ready to jump on them at any moment?

These thoughts have been running around my mind and I’ve been trying my best to understand. Had this virus been around 10 years ago, I would have reacted very differently too. People can’t comprehend that life can change in an instant. People protest about confinement, masks, social distancing, not being able to work or go to school. Apart from the masks, these are things that have already restricted my life for a long time. I have no choice and it’s doubtful it will ever be any different for me. For others, a normal life will resume, it’s tough, but it’s not forever.

I know there are others out there who understand only too fully. For everyone else, all we can ask is please be patient. Your life will resume, providing you don’t catch the virus too bad.

Mending

I’m always trying to mend, my health, my state of mind, my family disruptions the list could go on. Mending is just a way of life for me.

At the moment though we have our car in the garage because it needs mending. After just a year it broke down and couldn’t fixed by the RAC so it’s off to the garage. We have a courtesy car so we still have transport which is good because next week more mending will be going on.

Starting from Monday I will be on the day ward each day all week at the hospital receiving the infusion that mend my immune system. I’ve read that my treatment IVIG was given to patients with COVID in China which helped their recovery. I am hoping that by giving my immune system this boost it may make me less likely to be affected by COVID should it come into my life.

For those that don’t already know I have Stiff Person Syndrome plus progressive encephalomyelitis with rigidity and myoclonus (PERM)

Do check out Sheryl’s site for more chronic illness blogger’s takes on these writing prompts for September. Click pic below.

September writing prompts, feeling, gruelling, tempting, running, mending.

August Chronic Illness Writing Prompts

August 1, 2020 by Anne Sweet 14 Comments

Each month I link up with Sheryl over at A Chronic Voice and these are the chronic illness writing prompts she has set for August.

Unlocking
Limiting
Studying
Watching
Healing

These are my Chronic Illness Writing Prompts August

Unlocking

First we were in lock down because of the pandemic. Then slowly we have come out of lock down. Then suddenly, it was like lock down never existed for so many people. Back to work, back to life, back to friends and the pub. Things had changed with masks and social distancing, but basically life was back to normal. (And masks and social distancing was ignored a lot.)

When you have a chronic illness, the last thing you want is a virus that could cause so many more implications. I worry about the neurological symptoms that have been reported. I have enough of them already, thank you.

So for us we are very much staying in lock down. I had a letter from my consultant last week that states

“given the significant disability and chronic neurological illness, it is best that strict social distancing and if practically possible, shielding is followed as best as possible – to avoid any complications.”

Saying that, we did unlock the door for the first time and had a socially distanced day out.

Limiting

I guess this follows on from Unlocking. Even though we are being careful, by limiting our contact with others we are striving to keep safe. My eldest daughter returns to work next week but to limit her contact with others, my husband is taking her to work and picking her up. She normally takes the bus as she doesn’t drive herself. She really does need to learn to drive though. As soon as it’s safe to do so.

We are also limiting ourselves to some time away from home. We had two holidays planned this year, and in fact we should be away right now. But instead I’ve postponed them until next year. Instead we have some other things planned that are safer than crowded beaches and long travelling times.

My husband is the only person who leaves the house regularly. He’s the one who pops to the shops. He’s visited his Mum and his friend. Like a lot of others he hasn’t been careful and has stopped his limitations. When we were in lock down he would go out only once a day and then only if it was necessary. But now, he doesn’t seem to care anymore. He even forgot his mask yesterday and the woman in the shop still served him but asked him to remember it next time.

Studying

School is out for summer and the kids were so happy to drop their home education. I actually enjoyed spending an hour or so teaching my youngest. And although he was a pain to get started, I think he enjoyed a lot too. And we both learned so much.

All the kids struggled with learning out of school though, and they are really looking forward to going back in September. I am putting my faith in the school that they are doing all they can to ensure the virus does not end spreading around the schools.

My studies have not been going so well. I was trying to learn British Sign Language. But it’s hard to fit it in. Each day seems so busy and there is never enough time to fit everything in. I need my relaxation time in the afternoon when I read and crochet, or I can’t cope with making dinner in the evening. Then after dinner I am too tired to do anything.

Watching

I have been watching the James Bond movies again. Some I’ve not watched for years, I have been a little shocked at the cultural references from some of the earlier movies. They wouldn’t get away with a lot of that these days.

I also watched The Titanic with the Little Man. It’s really not one of my favourite films, the last hour is the most interesting. But The Little Man wasn’t feeling too good and we were flicking through the tv while he was next to me on the settee and the movie was on, it had already started so we missed an hour of it (yay) but watched the rest. He loved it.

Another day when the Little Man was bored I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie and he picked ‘Detective Pikachu.’ That’s the third time I’ve watched it now, but it still doesn’t beat the girls favourites when they were younger…I’ve seen High School Musical (1, 2 and 3), Frozen, and Monsters Inc. at least six times each.

Healing

Again, I’ve turned to healing from the inside. Everytime I try I get sidetracked with cake or chocolate. I tend to go by a little of what you fancy does you good. I have found some new ingredients I love, like baobab and moringa, which are so healthy for you and can be added to home made smoothies, treats and breakfasts. I’ve been drinking more water and herbal teas rather than regular tea and coffee.

I’ve been making meals from Mindful Chef, a food box delivery, every fortnight. They are healthier meals and have helped to introduce us to some ingredients and flavours. I love it when I can eat a meal that makes me feel full but not bloated. And especially when it doesn’t keep me awake all night with gastric problems. (Like the time I decided to make chocolate brownies at 10 pm and each one warm.)

I’ve also sought out my crystals again. I used to find them so healing many years ago. I remember going to an old warehouse which had been turned into a market and one stall was just full of crystals. I’d never seen so many beautiful stones, but what really got me was that I ‘felt’ them. They instantly had an effect on my emotions. So I bought some and started a collection. I learnt a lot about crystals and the powers of each of one. But then I put them away and forgot about them.

Recently I bought some crystal bracelets on Etsy. They are lovely and I instantly feel something when I wear them. One of them helps me to ward of negativity, the other helps with pain. So, then I found out some of my other crystals and bought a gorgeous flat bowl, also from Etsy, to display them in.

a white bowl with flowers and filled with crystals. August chronic illness writing prompts.

But, I’ve not talked much about my health. In my last post I talked about not tolerating my pain and that I had an upcoming telephone consultation.I talked to my neuro consultant and he has decided that my best option is to go back onto the IVIG. It was obviously helping to keep me stable, even though it wasn’t offering a cure (I remember when I first had it I was hoping it would be my miracle cure.) Sometimes you have to accept that management is the best you can expect. That will be arranged soon. Five days treatment every 3 months.

I am also going for another brain scan to check on Walter, my haemotoma. Fingers crossed he’s been behaving himself.

Thanks for reading, if you want to see what others make of these prompts please check out Sheryl’s link up.

These are my Chronic illness writing prompts August, to see other months you can click here.

July Chronic Illness Writing Prompts

July 2, 2020 by Anne Sweet 10 Comments

Each month I link up with Sheryl over at A Chronic Voice and these are the chronic illness writing prompts she has set for July.

Writing Prompts for July

BOTHERING
DEMANDING
NOURISHING
TELECOMMUNICATING
TOLERATING

Bothering

I was thinking about this only this morning. Since we have been stuck at home because of the Corona Virus I have been bothering less about the little things that used to drive me crazy before. Particularly with my husband not doing stuff. Before I’d be moaning about him not putting up a shelf or painting the bathroom, but now I really can’t be bothered. I can’t really explain it, I thought being at home all the time would be the perfect time to get things done.

But we have sort of developed a more relaxed type of life. I’m not busy getting the kids ready for school or appointments, and we don’t have to worry about visitors. Why not chill out and bother less? In a way, it’s been a lot less stressful for me, I would have done so much of this stuff myself before I became disabled. If I was healthy now, I doubt there would be anything left to do…but I just can’t motivate myself to bother my husband about it. And he certainly doesn’t seem bothered.

Demanding

I’ve found looking after the kids pretty easy, but the school is demanding they do more work. Honestly, I can get my Little Man to sit with me and go through his stuff, but the girls are older, they are responsible for doing their own work. But it seems the more I demand of them, the less they want to do. I’m pretty sure they’d jump up if one of their teachers asked them to work. But they just don’t listen to me. I had a fall out with Boo and demanded that she took her headphones out and listened to me. She wasn’t happy about it.

I try not to be too demanding. Yes, I believe their education is important and I really don’t want them to fall behind. But, on the other hand, I’m pretty sure that they will catch up again once given the chance.

Nourishing

Eldest son is a little overweight, as am I. We don’t get much exercise and since I got sick the weight has piled on through inactivity and medication. Some people say that steroids do not make you put on weight, but I guess that’s because in many circumstances, steroids give a person more energy to do stuff. I have had high doses of steroids on two occasions now, both for six months. Each time I’ve put on the pounds. Then I’ve found it hard to shift them again.

So, I sat down with eldest son and we worked out some healthy meals we’d like to try. If we can’t get out or exercise much (he has an exercise bike) then we can try and lose some weight by changing our diet. In my case it has to be a change because currently I don’t eat very much. It makes sense, if you don’t do much you don’t get so hungry. Not only that but I have some bad digestive issues. So, we are now nourishing ourselves with at least three healthy meals a week and eating a lot more fruit and vegetables.

Telecommuncating

I’m not a telephone person. I don’t like video calls either. I find sitting with the phone against my ear uncomfortable and concentrating on conversations over the phone difficult. I’ve never even tried zoom or face time. It’s just so alien to me. I used to talk to my Mum on the phone until my ears burned, but I really don’t talk to anyone much now.

I’ve found that trying to talk to anyone on the phone these days has become more difficult too. A call to the surgery, or the chemist, or basically anywhere at all for assistance has been a nightmare. I’ve lost track of the hours I’ve spent listening to ‘on hold’ music over the last few months. I’m beginning to hate the phone even more.

chronic illness writing prompts July, a mobile phone

I’ve had to give up counselling. I was half way through a six month session with a really good counsellor just before lock down. She wanted to keep in touch by phone, but it just didn’t work for me. I didn’t feel comfortable talking in my own home on the phone. So, I decided to stop and now I’ll have to wait for another chance to continue in the future.

I also have an appointment with my consultant next week on the telephone. It won’t be the first time, so I know what to expect. I will have my ‘script’ in front of me so I don’t forget anything I need to tell him. I’d rather see him in person, but I guess it’s best not to visit the hospital just yet.

Tolerating

I have been tolerating the weather better. Last year I found the hot weather really difficult, but I have managed to get through hot days okay, and slept through hot nights. Colder weather brings me more pain and it keeps changing from hot to cold. Over all, though, it has been fairly tolerable.

One thing I have not tolerated is my pain. Part of me wishes I’d never stopped my infusions. Not that I’d be able to have them right now anyway because of the virus. I always believed that they didn’t help much. But, there are so many differences I’ve noticed since I stopped. I have no chance of getting them back now, but maybe my consultant can help. I don’t know, he’s not really found anything so far that works.

The dystonia on my left side is a regular occurrence now, I get it at least once a day. I’m beginning to think that it’s so regular it’s going to become permanent. That scares me. Losing half of my body is something I would not be able to tolerate. I only manage to get through it now because I know it will pass. It’s scary when you lose control over your body, even temporarily.

I’m also having regular spasms that are becoming worse, they affect my throat, shoulder and chest. Sometimes I find it difficult to breathe and I need help to move me into a position to help me breathe better.

The headaches come and go but they are becoming more frequent. I wake up with a headache and it gets worse as the day goes on, to the point where I can’t wait to go to bed. Then I wake up in the night because the pain is still there. I wake up in the morning and it still hurts. It can go on for days. In the morning it’s tolerable and I can do things, but by evening I’m fit for nothing.

I don’t want to end on a bad note though. My health problems may be getting worse, but one thing I have noticed is that we are tolerating each other better as a family. We have spent more time together while being stuck at home all the time and I thought it would cause more arguments. However, apart from the occasional falling out, they have got on so well. We’ve had fun together as a whole family on a few occasions which is very rare, as usually everyone is off in their own space.

Last months chronic illness wriring prompts Link up post.

May Chronic Illness Writing Prompts.

May 3, 2020 by Anne Sweet 17 Comments

Each month I join up with Cheryl from A Chronic Voice, to use her writing prompts to tell my readers about how I am coping with my health. The May writing prompts are; Foreseeing, Panicking, Upbringing, Accessing and Soothing.

May Writing Prompts

Foreseeing

As someone with a chronic illness I think I kept a close eye on the rise of this pandemic and I guess I did foresee how bad it might become. That is probably why we have been staying home a little longer than most. My children and I had a virus (not THE virus) just before COVID-19 became big news and the kids were off school unwell. I took the decision not to send them back and was worried how long I’d be able to do that. Then within a week the school was closed anyway. The kids don’t seem to be bothered about the amount of time they’ve been off school, despite it being longer than the Summer Holidays right now and not knowing how much longer it will be. We’ve not even done any of the fun days out and stuff we generally manage during the holidays.

Maybe not foreseen but prepared. My poor kids are used to not going out thanks to their Mum being sick. It really doesn’t bother them.

Panicking

I will admit I was panicking about the virus when the pandemic was first announced. I had nightmares, I was scared. My daughter was still working although my husband was taking her in the car so that she didn’t have to catch the bus.

Since being at home for so long our immediate panic is over. We know we are not sick and are less likely to get sick from this virus. We have also been chosen to take part in regular testing for scientific research, so we will know if we have had the virus (I doubt this) if we are immune to it, or indeed if we catch it. It does sort of help with the panic.

There are other things I have had panics about though. I had a confusing letter from the hospital about my MRI scan. It said that ‘something’ was wrong with my brain but I was not to worry too much. What that ‘something’ was I couldn’t work out from the medical terms in the letter. So, I arranged a telephone consultation with my neurologist.

He explained that my brain was under pressure, but it was low pressure which is not as dangerous as high pressure. At some point my brain had bled. This could have been from a blow (which I can’t pinpoint, but I have so many accidents it’s hard to say) or it could be idiopathic. (It just happened) Anyway, I have fluid covering my brain that shouldn’t really be there but it’s not much, not enough to worry about. I also have blood clot, but it’s more like a scab on the surface of my brain, so it’s not in my blood stream, it’s not going anywhere or going to cause me any trouble. (Although, they will keep an eye on it.) I’ve named it Walter, because I always believe that naming things make them less scary. Walter may have caused a little panic at first, but he’s fine now I know what he is.

Finally, I had a panic when I found out that I was robbed! My bank was emptied over the Easter Holiday with someone taking every penny I had. Thankfully the bank was very understanding and I did get my money back pretty quickly. I’m still waiting for Paypal to sort things out though as my account there was hacked too. In fact, I think it was through Paypal that they got my bank details as they were connected.

Upbringing

As Sheryl explained in her list, upbringing is a little mismatched. But I guess it does shape how we live our lives.

I know as a child my family was probably a little different to many. My Mum had five sisters and two brothers and I had many cousins. I also had a few disabled cousins including peers with Down’s Syndrome and Severe Brain Damage. We were brought up to treat them as our equals, and not to focus on their differences.

This prepared me to be more accepting of disability as I grew older and one of my first jobs was working with disabled young adults.

I have three autistic children. The first was a shock, I found it difficult to accept his differences despite my upbringing. This was my child and he was perfect. Over time I realise that he’s still perfect, as are my other children.

I even have to accept that I am now disabled, I do wish my Mum and Nan were around to help me get through this.

me and my Mum a long time ago, paddling in the sea. The photo is in black and and white. — *Me and my Mum*

Accessing

As someone who doesn’t get out much, I have had experience of poor access for disabled people. The lock down has meant that I don’t have to worry much about this now. There are some areas where I have seen better access though.

As a vulnerable person I’ve had priority access to online shopping. This is so important as I have a big family to feed. I could send my husband shopping if needed, but then he’d be at risk of picking up the virus and bringing it home, which in turn would put me and the rest of the family at risk. There are seven of us at home and many of us health issues we can’t risk bringing the virus home. We also need to eat 🙂

With three children missing school I’ve also found having access to lots of learning facilities really helpful. The schools have been great with providing the access. I’ve already shared one of the Little Man’s p.e. lessons which made us all laugh but which get the kids moving every morning. The Internet offers access to almost everything and it’s wonderful that we have this resource at our hands. I feel if this had happened when my older children were young then we’d be relying on books and television. I guess we wouldn’t even have been able to access regular e-mails and ‘school pings.’ I feel so lucky and appreciate everyone who has worked hard to make all this information so accessible. Teaching at home is a difficult job.

Soothing

Every morning, when all is quiet. I open up my patio door and spend at least a few minutes (depending on how cold/warm it is) listening to the birds. Over on my Instagram highlights, I even have a couple of recordings of this sound. This is how I begin my day, and no matter what is to come I find it very soothing.

Other things I find soothing are my crochet and audio books. Sadly, for the first two weeks of lock down I wasn’t able to get motivated to do anything. I guess that was fear and panic taking a hold. I have now started to get into that place now where I can soothe myself with hobbies again. It’s good to spend some time thinking about something completely different.

I don’t know how long this disruption to life will last, I don’t know what we have to look forward to. I don’t think anyone can really predict it. But taking one day at a time is soothing. It’s all anyone can do really. You can’t really plan for an uncertain future. As someone who plans everything meticulously, I’ve found that not planning has not been as bad as I thought it would be. I understand that for many others that the uncertainty can be very scary and that so many people are suffering and will face more suffering. But, we all need to take one day at at time and start to work out how we can plan changes rather than plan to continue our lives as they were before.

Click the image for more blog posts on the same May Writing prompts.

If you enjoyed my May writing prompts you may want to read more with my April prompts.

Monthly Chronic Illness Writing Prompts. Why I stay!

March 3, 2020 by Anne Sweet 11 Comments

Each month I like to join in with Sheryl’s writing prompts. She gives the prompts and then I have to write about each of them and how they apply to my life. This month I’m really thinking about why I stay.

The prompts this month are

STAYING
DOING
BEING
TARGETING
WEIGHING

Staying – Why I Stay

So much of the time, especially in the recent months, I’m thinking why I stay. Yes, I mean why I stay alive, why I stay here on this planet, why I stay here in this house, this home. A lot of the time I don’t want to stay, I want to be anywhere but here.

My family drive me nuts, my illness drives me nuts, my daily routine drives me nuts. My work, my words, my life, waking up in the morning, going to bed at night, it all drives me insane. I so often don’t want to do it anymore.

But then I think again. We only have one shot at this life and so far I’ve been through a lot. But that’s my life and that’s the one I was given. Yes, I could have been given a life of luxury with a nice house, plenty of money and lots of holidays. I could have been given a life in war torn Syria. But I wasn’t, I was given this rather ordinary life in England. Which got messed up along the way, but it’s still my life.

And I still have things I can be proud of. Especially my children. And that’s why I stay.

Doing

What will I be doing this month? Well, we are currently in the process of having our family bathroom turned into a wet room. That means an accessible shower for me. So, although I won’t be doing the work myself, I’m coping with the workmen every day disrupting my daytime routine. (You know, the one I’m sick of!)

Then I’ll be helping my husband re-arrange our bedroom in preparation for my lift. He’ll be doing all the hard work, but I really need a huge purge, so I’ll be telling him what has to go. (including two bookshelves full of books.)

Being

I guess I’m being me. My usual moany but unable to ask for help self me. My hope is that I can be different. I feel as though I have learned so much recently. I have done a lot of studying and reading and learning, but the last couple of years I’ve become so much more aware of people. I’m not so sure I like people very much which is strange seeing as I have a degree in psychology. You would think I understood how people behaved, but trust me, it’s takes more than a psychology degree to understand people. So, I’ve decided that I have to start really being who I am and forgetting about what other people think of me. So watch out for me being different. Although, I may just appear to be the same. Some things I refuse to change.

Targeting

What am I targeting this month? Well, I guess it has to be my health. I’ve been reading through my consultant’s letters and something clicked in how my health has changed over the past few years.

There are two things I need to target. My mental health, which I’m already working on with a counsellor, but I also need to work on more pain management. I thought I was pretty good at mindfulness and mind over matter, but it turns out that, yet again, I have much to learn. I will be focusing on this a lot over the next month (And forever.)

The other thing is my weight, or more specifically, my diet. I have learnt that specific things trigger me, too much, or too little sugar can have an adverse affect on my health. Also, my stomach suffers after eating certain foods so I really need to avoid or find alternatives for bread, milk, some fruits and coffee. There are probably a few more things I need to add to list, but it’s not so simple as following a specific diet, this has to be ‘my’ diet. I do need to lose weight too. Before I got sick I used to fret about being 7 lb overweight, now I’m more like 28 lb overweight and it’s hard to shift being so immobile. I barely eat anything as it is so it’s going to be hard to shift, but I’m sure it will make me feel better.

Most of the weight I put on after having high doses of steroids. Not everyone is the same, but after the first dose of IV steroids I put on a few extra pounds. Then a year later I was given a second dose of IV steroids followed by six months worth of them titering them down each week so I didn’t stop suddenly. This dose caused me to put on most of my weight and also destroyed three of my teeth. (My dentist said that steroids do not affect teeth, but after talking to others I found out its quite common.)

Weighing

I’ve just confessed about my weight gain and how I need to change it, so now I’ll talk about something else.

I’ve been weighing up my life in general and working out the things that have the biggest effect on my health. As I’ve already stated I’ve identified these as mental, food and weight.

Overall, my current quality of life isn’t good but after weighing everything up I am coming up with plans for improvement. My home will be improved to help my ability to cope, my mental health is having a real good spring clean, and my physical health will hopefully improve too.

For four years I’ve been looking for a cure, and came to the conclusion that there wasn’t one. But after weighing it all up, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I can get better, or at least improve a little.

I started this post by talking about how I have been so close to ending it all, but as you can, my positivity has won over and I am already working on how to make life better. I lost faith in myself and in humanity, but my cup never fully emptied and I know I can fill it up again.

Thanks for reading and if you’d like to see how other’s have interpreted these writing prompts then please click the image below.

My Writing Prompts for February

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