The Little Man’s First Week Back At School

Last week was my youngest’s first week back at school after a year of Home Education. I was dismayed to hear that if he wanted to go back to school he had to return to his previous place of education. He left because of bullying issues that were not resolved after trying everything.

What Happened Before

He had attended the school for his first year in primary but in year one he had been picked on by some particular boys. They had marked him out as annoying and he became a target. They took a swipe at him whenever they could and instead of telling on them he would hide in the toilet or even under the table. Once when he was hiding under the table they all took turns in kicking him and he was covered in bruises. Again, he told no-one until we took him to hospital after he’d had an ‘accident’ at school and fractured his arm. The teacher had said it was his own fault as he’d been behaving stupidly!! At the hospital it was pointed out that he had several fresh bruises and it looked like he’d been beaten. He had no problem in telling the doctor what the boys had done to him. I was horrified. We went straight around the school and were met with excuses. He wasn’t settling in class, he made no effort to get on with the other children, he was constantly disrupting the class by making noises, and the other boys were not bullies, they were too young to understand. I walked him out of that school and he never went back.

We found another primary school and he got on great there. He made some lovely friends, the teachers were great and completely understanding. They also pointed out that he may have autistic traits and gave us help in finding a diagnosis for him. (We were aware that he may be autistic.)

Then Covid happened and his diagnosis was delayed. And school was taking place over zoom. When he went back the classrooms were smaller and the children split into groups. The Little Man thrived in this environment because he never felt overwhelmed.

Secondary School.

He chose to go back to his former school (It’s an all through school from Reception class to year 11) There wasn’t much choice in the area anyway and a lot of the schools were picking students who had siblings already there. Also, they were nearly all boy’s only schools. The Little Man thought he’d be okay going back.

It was okay at first. The bullies from the primary years were still there but they didn’t start on him straight away. It didn’t take long though, he started coming home feeling sick and not wanting to go to school, which was very unlike him. Eventually, he admitted he was being bullied again. We tried to work with the school for months to get the problem sorted but it was one step forward two back.

The worst came when they accused the Little Man of being racist because he had a monkey shaped eraser. He had no idea what they were going on about because to him a monkey had no racist connotations, it was just an animal. So we needed to educate him. Sometimes, not being racist is not enough, you need to teach them about racism. That was a lesson learnt for us, not something we have had to deal with before.

After almost six months of trying, the bullying didn’t stop so I removed my son from the school for his own safety. I was sure we’d get a place somewhere else and in the meantime I was happy to Home Educate him.

A Year Later

Sorry, it’s taken me so long to get to this point, especially if you’ve already been following his story.

Last week the Little Man returned to school. On Day one the kids started calling him ‘the racist boy.’ Day two I e-mailed the head of safe guarding and told him what was happening. He called me straight away and said he would sort it.

Day three was still bad, but the boys were spoken too and things did get better for the last two days of the week.

The Little Man was excited to go back to school and it was heart-breaking to see him come home so deflated. But he was determined to see it through, and so far no-one has hurt him. I really hope they don’t. The racist thing is something I really don’t want to stick. I know my boy and he is NOT a racist, but if they spread that around the school he will get a bad reputation. Some kids will believe it.

The school is in special measures so they will need to make sure my boy is safe, but I need to protect his mental health as well. I know he has problems and I know he can be annoying. I also know that he is kind and funny and empathetic.

Last week he was on half days, this week he is going in late and coming home a little early, and next week he will be full time. The following week will be the last week of term and the school holidays will begin. I can’t wait.