Monday Musings -The Truth About Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I have suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Nope, it’s not the cleaning kind, you won’t find me scrubbing my loo at all hours in the morning. In fact I’ve never really got the cleaning thing. Yes, I like things clean, and I like things in order, but that’s not what I class as my OCD.

I have my OCD under control..

It was at it’s worst around 15 years ago. I was a single mum and going through a difficult time. I was losing control of my life and my mind. There was no-one there to see my crazy ways, apart from my kids and I don’t think they really noticed.

I still find it hard to talk about so let me put some things I used to do in a list.

I washed my hands  a minimum of 20 times a day. My skin still suffers from this.

I never switched anything on once, I had to turn it off and switch it on twice.

Whenever I switched something off I unplugged it from the socket, I never left a plug in.

Doors that could be locked were always locked.

When I went to bed I had to turn everything off, unplug all plugs, check everything again. Go to bed, get up again and check everything again. Then I had to re-check that all the doors were locked.

I had panic attacks daily.

I rarely went out.

This is most of what I can remember, I’m sure there was more. I learnt to control it  with meditation and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, I’m aware of it all the time but being aware of it helps me keep it under control. Sometimes I’m even strong enough to disobey it and do something really rebellious like lick my fingers, or put a book on the bookshelf in the wrong place (never horizontally though, that is just wrong!)

Some days I don’t vacuum behind the sofa, or bleach the loo.

When I told my OH about all the checking I used to do he thought it was natural. I was a single mum and worried for mine and my children’s safety, it was the right thing to do, double check everything. He didn’t understand, people rarely do.

 When you have OCD you HAVE to check and double check, if you don’t the voices in your head drive you crazy, they will not let you have any peace. Yes, if you don’t lock the door a burglar might get in. When you have OCD if you don’t lock the door something terrible will happen to you or one of your children, sometimes you can imagine what terrible thing may happen but sometimes it doesn’t matter, you just believe it will be so terrible that you cannot rest until you have checked that the door is locked. Then you still don’t get any peace, what if you didn’t check properly, can you be really sure you checked it, you have to check it again, it’s not safe if you don’t. Are all the plugs unplugged and the switches turned off? Are you sure? I know you’ve already checked them, but maybe you haven’t checked them right, you will need to check them again just to be safe. Did you turn the gas cooker off? You know you haven’t used the gas cooker since tea time which was hours ago, but the house might explode if you haven’t turned it off, so you check. Then you climb into bed exhausted because it’s already taken you an hour to get there with all the checking and all you can think is, ‘did I turn it off properly? Maybe I turned it on again instead of turning it off. I will have to check again’

Living with OCD is not always about having a spotlessly clean house, it’s about living with a nightmare in your mind.

And then the fun began...


  1. March 3, 2015 / 3:44 pm

    This is a fabulous post. Although I do not suffer from OCD, I do suffer from depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I believe it is incredibly important that we share our stories in order to remove the stigma from mental illness. Understanding breeds understanding, and nothing else will bring us together as a human family.


  2. March 5, 2015 / 4:00 pm

    I read a post a bit like this a while back by Lisa of How To Be a Domestic Disgrace. I really for you and anyone who's mind does this to them. It must be a nightmare and yes, I think the term OCD is used very flippantly a lot of times but you put it in perspective for sure. Thanks so much for linking up to #thetruthabout X

  3. Suzanne W
    March 5, 2015 / 4:23 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story Anne – so important to attempt to understand how someone with OCD's mind works. Although I'm not sure you ever fully can, unless you experience it yourself. I'm glad you seem to have it under control.

  4. julia Pa
    March 7, 2015 / 11:38 am

    Very brave to talk about this. I have a friend who has OCD. Its really hard at times, though just another part of her when its under control. Thanks for talking about it x

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A little Note About Positive Reviews on Raisie Bay

A little Note About Positive Reviews on Raisie Bay

Some people only write reviews when things go wrong with products, which is good because it lets people know that there could be potential problems. I’ve also seen negative feedback with say things like, I had to return this item because the colour did not suit me…is this useful?

I write reviews on most items I buy because I like to give genuine feedback. If I have a genuine problem with a product I will write my review in the appropriate place.

I write reviews on my blog too, but they are mostly positive. Why? Because I only write reviews for the things I’ve loved. If I don’t love them I let the person who sent me them know with details why and then let them decided if they would rather me write a negative review or not write one at all. It’s always the latter.

This is my blog, my place and I’ll let you know about the things I love. If you want to find out what other people have hated about the product then you will need to look elsewhere.

My reviews may all be positive, but they are still genuine.