Each month I join up with Sheryl from a Chronic Voice to use her writing prompts to talk about my Chronic Illness and how it is affecting my life. This months the prompts are; Defining, Allocating, Uniting, Saving and Educating. Quite Timely for me, particularly as I have my children at home doing their education. There is a lot of defining, allocating and Educating going on this February. Let me see how I can link these up.
I won’t deny it. It’s tough having three school age children stuck at home because of the pandemic. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want them to go back to school, it feels much safer having them home. Also, my youngest was the only one able to attend school full time, the older two were part time and not learning much at all.
This time around, though, I’m not expected to teach them. Which is good because I don’t have to organise their work and make them do it. Now it’s just making sure they know what they are doing and that they actually complete the work. It sounds easy, but it’s honestly a right royal pain in the butt!
I’m tired. It wasn’t easy getting them up and ready for school each day, making sure their uniforms were ready and they had all they needed for their day ahead. But, at least once they were gone I would get some peace and quiet. That is not happening any more. I feel like I am on high alert all day.
I do think it is having an effect on my health. I’m not feeling so good having to cope with it all. I’m not sleeping so well and my pain levels are high.
I guess that brings me onto the next prompt, allocating. As well as all the home education going on, I have to carry on with my normal life. This means having to allocate things more carefully. It’s so easy to burn out. I know that I’m leaving a lot more cooking to Graham, but by dinner time I’m already worn out, if not physically, then definitely mentally.
I am also having to allocate time to do my work. I’m doing a lot of writing but also a lot of crochet as I aim to fill up my new Esty shop. I have enough to do without putting this extra pressure on myself, but by allocating my time carefully, I should be able to manage it.
I have a lot to deal with, both physically and mentally and it can all be very draining, but I can do it.
Uniting my family is like a pipe dream. Sometimes I think I am the only link between them. Sometimes, it’s not so bad though and we have times when we get on better. Yesterday afternoon it felt quite nice watching a movie along with my son and my husband. Even when it comes to television we are all divided in what we like to watch so moments like this are like little precious pearls.
They pull together when I get sick though. If I am out of action then I can see there is more understanding and co-operation between them. It seems strange that it is my illness that unites them, but it also gives me hope that they will be there for each other if I’m not around for any reason.
I’m saving as much as I can at the moment. We are definitely going on holiday this year, that is paid for and if for any reason we can’t go in August as planned, we will go another time. I need to save for spending money. We probably won’t be able to do much when we go away, but we will be staying somewhere different (in a caravan) and will have a sea view. It won’t matter, it will still be a holiday and we need it. We won’t be leaving the country and will not be visiting any busy beaches.
I’m also saving money to do up my garden. I’d love a conservatory but I’m not sure if that will be possible this year. I definitely want to do all the things I planned but didn’t do last year though. I’m determined to have a garden to love.
This is all relevant to my health. The holiday is much needed, even if it’s only to see the sea and listen to it lapping against the shore. I need a break, some time away from home. I also believe that having the garden I want will improve my health too. I want to be able to spend more time outside, but I also want to be able to look outside my patio doors and see something that pleases me. Particularly as I spend most of my day with this view. I can’t do the work myself, but if I get the raised beds I want and a path put down, I can visit my garden easier and do some planting and tending. I would like a greenhouse too, but I may have to make some sacrifices if I do get a conservatory.
Defining and Educating
Defining brings everything together. We need to define what work the kids are going to do each day and make sure they stick to a regular time table to ease stress. It looks like we will be home educating all February at least. I also need to define my plans for our holiday and the garden.
Defining boundaries is important. I think with the pandemic and our household being in almost permanent lockdown we have let our boundaries go a lot and that means that chaos is seeping in.
Thank you for joining me again for my chronic illness writing prompts. You can read other months here.