Don’t Look Forward, Look Back!

Don’t look forward, look back. Now, that is not my normal advice. For every step of life you shouldn’t dwell on the past but on the future. Keep on striving for what you want, there is always room for improvement and you have to make the best of your time on this planet.

In my own case, why should I look back on the past where I could walk and do so many things I can no longer do. I should look forward, think of how I can heal, think of how I can be better again.

But in this case I’m looking back, simply as a time scale. You see, at the moment I feel like I’m stuck in a 70 year old body, the pain, the immobility, the inability to live a normal life. I’m not 70 though, I have 18 years to go until I am 70. But 18 years doesn’t sound a lot does it, it will pass in a flash and if I even make it that long I’m going to be feeling 70 for a very long time. I look at friends and peers and think that they don’t look so aged as me, they are still enjoying life to the full, still working, still having fabulous holidays, still doing all the things they did before and even more because their kids are all grown up (or growing up quickly.)

So, I’m looking back.
Let me see, 18 years ago I was a single parent of two youngish children. I was working full time and juggling everything a single mum does. I was trying to date, whenever I could get  a babysitter that was. Then my world exploded, exactly 18 years ago, and I almost lost everything including my sanity. I did lose my job and almost lost my home, I certainly lost my family apart from my two children and one of my brothers. It was a very low time for me indeed.

Then over the next two years I began to build things up again, I met my current husband, we started enjoying life again. I went on to have three more wonderful children and we moved from a very crowded small house to the lovely big house we have now. We built up to a stable and happy family life. Yes, we had our ups and downs but doesn’t everyone? 18 years ago I was rock bottom, but now it seems like a lifetime ago.

It only took me two years to get out of that awful place I was in 18 years ago. If I can improve my health and my life in the next two years then I will have plenty of time to carry on enjoying my life before I become a 70 year old in a 70 year old’s body. In fact, there are many of 70 year old’s and even older having a good life.

I’m going to fight this, I’m going to fight for a better life.
I know what I have to do and I’m going for it.
I’m not waiting for my miracle to happen, I’m going to make it happen.

I’m looking back because 18 years ago life was shit and I made it so much better.
I’m looking forward because I can feel 70 in 18 years, I’m not going to give in to feeling it now.

 

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12 Comments

  1. February 2, 2018 / 3:48 pm

    I love this! I thought about being 70 this week too when I went to the beach, watching everyone wrapped up warm, except for this old couple who proceeded to strip down to costumes and take the plunge. They tell me they swim almost daily as it keeps them young and fit. I want to be like them!

  2. February 2, 2018 / 4:54 pm

    Hi Anne, you’ve just proved that it is good to look back. You have come along way in those eighteen years and from a pretty sh**ty time too. You’ve done it once, you can do it again. Circumstances may be different this time, but I look forward to reading your journey. The only way is forward now! *high five*

    PS… Love your new website x

    xx

  3. February 2, 2018 / 5:07 pm

    Such an inspirational post Anne! I have no doubt that you can get through this. You have dealt with shit before and you will do it again. It sounds like you have a lovely family to support you too. Sending love and hugs your way x

    Thanks so much for sharing with #MMBC. I hope you can join me Monday x

  4. February 2, 2018 / 6:18 pm

    Such a powerful message! 18 years ago my life was pretty terrible, too, and now I really do only look back to see how far I’ve come and to share the message of survival and empowerment with others who may be traveling a similar journey! Great post! Thank you for sharing your story. I found your post at #BlogCrush

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

  5. February 3, 2018 / 2:51 pm

    Love this! And I love the determination shining through. You CAN do this! Thanks for sharing with #TheMMLinky

  6. February 3, 2018 / 11:59 pm

    Great post, thank you! Very well written and properly thought through. Very good reasoning as well, 18 years can be an ample amount of time. And every good day counts. We can’t know how long we’ve got so we better make the most of the now, but that doesn’t automatically mean not looking back at what we’ve experienced so far. You can look back in constructive ways, like you do in this post x #BlogCrush

  7. February 4, 2018 / 12:21 pm

    I needed this today! For the past few years I have often said I feel like I’m 80, yet I’m still in my 40s. The last few weeks have been a round of hospital visits, procedures and being told there is nothing to be done. Friday saw me with yet another bad shoulder dislocation….after a sleepless night I spent yesterday feeling a bit grotty….not to mention a bit sorry for myself. But I certainly try to be as positive as you, and this is what I aim for when blogging. I can’t change the body I live in but I can make the best of it…and try to emulate people like you! Going to share this link tomorrow on my reg Monday Magic Inspiring Blogs feature. Great #MMLinky post! Claire (PainPalsBlog)

  8. February 4, 2018 / 8:25 pm

    This was an intriguing and then very inspirational post. Honest and brave. All the very best to you moving forwards #MondayMotivation

  9. February 4, 2018 / 10:11 pm

    This is a great post, lovely. I’m travelling a slightly but much milder path to you and I need to take heed of your words.
    18 years ago I was a single mum with a child of 5, struggling. 18 years ago in May 2000 I met a man who would become my husband and we had our two children together.
    In 18 years time I want to look back to now and say “I got through it”, I want you to too. Thanks for joining in with #TheMMLinky

  10. February 7, 2018 / 7:44 pm

    I think there’s stuff to be learnt from looking back but hopefully the future will always be much brighter. #BlogCrush

  11. February 8, 2018 / 9:20 pm

    I think looking back sometimes is definitely a good thing and can be a really positive step in helping you actually move forward with your life. You sound so very determined to get yourself feeling better and I really hope you are able to stop feeling like you’re trapped in a 70uear olds body xx #BlogCrush

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