Today’s Blogtober post theme is Couples. If you want to know more about Blogtober you will have to read until the end of this post. (Of course reading is not an absolute requirement, but you are here now so why not?)
I had my first boyfriend when I was 12 years old, that’s younger than my daughter Star is now. She’s not interested in boys though, I wasn’t either, it’s just that all my friends seemed to have a boyfriend and I felt left out. He wasn’t a ‘real’ boyfriend though, I think our relationship lasted two days before I caught him knocking on the door of a neighbour. I didn’t bother again for a good few years after that, not that I was heartbroken, just that I literally couldn’t be bothered.
Now I am on my second husband! My first I married when I was twenty, which seems so young now. We were married for 10 years but then we split. I met my current husband 6 years later but we didn’t get married until 2016.
When I met Graham he had a terrible speach impediment. I soon got rid of that! All he needed was some confidence and me not speaking for him and the stuttering stopped. I soon discovered that finishing his sentences for him wasn’t helping, so I didn’t. I helped him to realise that what he had to say was worth listening to, and that there was never any rush to get the words out. He speaks normally now, has done for years, but the stutter sometimes returns in times of stress.
I’d known Graham for quite a few years before we got together as a couple, he was a neighbour. We often spoke over the garden fence or in the street. (well, he tried to speak, and I tried to understand what he was saying!) I can’t say I ever imagined us getting together, he’s a lot younger than me and I just wasn’t interested at first. He was 26 when we became a couple and I guess I like him more then.
I loved being in a couple with Graham, he was happy having a night in, in front of the television like I was, but we also had some great night outs. Can you believe I went to my first ever gig with Graham, we went to see Travis in 2001. Then a year later we saw Ocean Colour Scene for the first time. (Graham now transports a member of OCS around some weekends as he plays in another band. And yes, they are still gigging, we have one to go to in December!)
We also loved going to a Victorian Style restaurant which was in an old manor house. We would sit in the lounge with a drink while they got table ready. This was a Victorian style lounge with a big fire and huge settees. The food was always fabulous, but no unauthentic stuff, proper roasts with all the trimmings, a nice bottle of wine (or two) and a lovely pudding. It would cost a bomb to dine there but we loved it. Sadly it doesn’t exist anymore.
After a couple of years together Graham admitted he’d like children of his own. I’d always wanted a big family so I was thrilled (or crazy.) We started trying straight away and I soon got pregnant, only to miscarry a couple of months later. Then it just didn’t seem to happen again and I was getting older and my chances seemed to be slipping away. On Boxing Day 2004 I did a pregnancy test which was a big fat positive, Star was due in September but she came a bit early.
We thought about having another child but didn’t hold out much hope as I was now 40 years old. But then Boo came along, apparently my fertility had had been given a boost. I have to admit that by the time I got pregnant with The Little Man a few years later I thought I was menopausal, not expecting my fifth child!
I always said I didn’t want to marry again and Graham was never really happy about that. When I got sick in January 2016 I realised a lot of things. One of those being that if anything did happen to me then it would be much easier for Graham if we were married. (How romantic!) So on Feb 29th I proposed to him while we were watching Jeremy Kyle. (note the irony!) He was overjoyed.
I soon realised that I was too, getting married to the man I loved was the right thing to do. We had a small but lovely wedding on November 26th 2016 which also happened to be my birthday. It’s also the date we got together some 15 years previously. It does make it all a bit easier to remember.
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