Every month I try to join in with Sheryl from A Chronic Voice and her writing prompts. Using her prompts gives me the opportunity to write about how my chronic illness affects me and my hopes for going forward. These are the Chronic Illness Writing prompts for January 2021
Yesterday, January 1st, marked the fifth anniversary of when I was first admitted to hospital. I’d had a previous indication that something was wrong and my GP was arranging a scan, but my condition escalated quickly and I ended up spending the first two weeks of 2016 in hospital. I was initially diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis and was told it would take about 8 weeks to recover. I was devastated. A year later I was re-diagnosed with a progressive condition, Stiff Person Syndrome plus PERM. I have been coming to term with this for the last five years.
Last year was a strange one. It felt like the rest of the country had a little taste of what it’s like to not go anywhere. I spend most of the year going nowhere but hospital. I have very rarely done ‘normal’ things for the last five years and it’s felt like my home is my prison. I think a lot of people have felt similar but for them there is hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. Freedom. Enjoy it. I know I will make the most of every moment I get to spend away from home from now on.
I used to be quite spiritual, many years ago a lot of things held symbols for me. The last year I have revisited some of this with natural healing. I feel I have got lost somewhere along the way, life hasn’t been kind, not just with my illness, but in general and I’ve taken all the negative symbols and absorbed them as my fate. Maybe it’s time to reverse this.
We cannot control our fate but we can control how we react to it. If I chose a symbol to represent my life it would be an infinity symbol. Life revolves around and there are places revisited, some good, some bad. But it goes on and the best way to survive it is to accept it. Keep revolving, keep accepting, keep learning, there is no end.
After such a difficult year like 2020 I think most of us need a big pat on the back for enduring it. I have found it quite peaceful and calming. But, I have accepted that there is danger out there and together as a family we have worked to stay safe.
I know others have not fared so well. It’s been tough and many lives have been lost. My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered at the hands of this virus. The biggest thing I’ve found hard to endure is the ones that ignore the warnings, believe the most ridiculous conspiracy theories and have acted with no concern for others. And yes, that includes our government!
The past year has revealed a lot to me, in particular about humanity. I have been humbled by the acts of people who have come to the aid of others. The kindness and caring nature of people who have looked out for others less fortunate. Helping when people have been confined to their homes due to illness, raising money to help out the NHS, showing support and generally caring.
Then there have been the revelations of people who are quite the opposite. People that have really shown their true colours. Those that have broken every rule made to protect us. It’s been a tough time for small businesses, and even big businesses have suffered. It’s not been easy for anyone, but we’ve managed to keep the cogs turning as much as possible. Sadly, if we had acted sooner and people had followed rules, we may have been able to get through this a lot better and quicker.
I won’t even go into the revelations of the lies and conspiracies on both sides of the fence. I’ll be here all day!
The biggest thing that has been revealed is that even though a majority of people have been kind and helpful, there are still some, that profess to be caring, that would deny a child a meal. No matter what the circumstances, a child is not to blame.
This prompt I am finding the most difficult. I’m not one for fanciful and graceful things.
I guess I can use it as gracing the future with respect and hope and take all that is thrown at me with strength. Where I will find that strength I’m not sure, but I will try my best. All we can ever do is hope for the best. Maybe this year will grace me with the tools I need to get my life in order.
Thank you Sheryl for writing these prompts each month and encouraging us to reflect on life.
Thank you for reading my chronic illness writing prompts for January and allowing me to indulge a little in my illness and how it affects my life.
Finally, a very Happy New Year to all my readers, I hope it will be graceful, peaceful and as pain free as possible.