Second Time Around

I was in the kitchen the other day with the radio on in the back ground when Chumbawamba came on with ‘Tubthumping’ (also known as ‘I Get Knocked Down.’) I was suddenly transported to a holiday at Butlins and the kids were having a whale of time as it was the featured dance of the week and if you joined in you got a prize (usually a sweet.) Then it dawned on me…it wasn’t my little kids, it was my adult kids! Wow, how time flies. Tubthumping was released in 1997, twenty years ago! I think my holiday was in 1998 though, it was memorable as it was my first ‘single parent’ holiday. And I was still young and attractive enough to get chatted up by the redcoats, hahaha!

First thought…isn’t it funny how hearing a tune can transport you to a certain place in your timeline, a certain memory, a certain emotion.

Sometimes I think I’m lucky to have a second go at motherhood, sometimes I wonder what on earth I was thinking!

First time around wasn’t easy, especially after their Dad left. But I always loved being a Mum, it has always been the most important thing in my life. Yes I worked, and at one point I had three jobs just to keep us going, but my kids always came first.

When the kids were young teenagers I met my current husband. We had a lovely little family and enjoyed life to the full. But, I always longed for another baby and my Husband wanted a child of his own.

So we started trying for a baby. It didn’t happen straight away and because of my age (late 30s) we were given all the fertility tests quite early on. We were okay and should have been able to conceive, so I was told that I probably had secondary infertility.

Then after two years it happened and I had my third baby at the age of 39 (almost 40.) By this time my older children where 16 and 17 years old.

When my baby arrived it seemed like I was a first time mum. Not only had it been so long since I’d had a baby, so much had changed, from nappies to buggies, to being able to take your pushchair on the bus. It was all a different experience.

The next baby came along pretty quickly now that my fertility had been given a kick start. So at the age of 41 I had two teenagers and two baby girls. My family was complete and I was so happy.

Then a few years later The Little Man arrived, I didn’t think I was pregnant, I thought I was going the menopause. I was so shocked when I did the test to rule pregnancy out. Having a baby at 44 puts you on the ‘at risk’ folder at the maternity hospital and you get so much extra care.

So here I am now, in my 50s (ooh that feels scary!) with three young school children. We were talking the other day about age and when Star is my age I will be 91, when the Little Man is my age I will be 98. I lost my Mum when I was 42, so I expect I won’t be around that long for the Little Ones. I should be around to see them grow up into adults though, especially if my new treatment works.

It does feel strange because most people I know that are my age, my long time friends, are now grandparents and are living the golden years. I see them post photos on Facebook of their grand kids while I’m posting photos of my own kids. Sometimes I feel jealous of them, they can have fun with their grand kids and then pass them back to their parents. I don’t get a break from mine.

Really, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel really blessed to have all my kids, and blessed to have done the motherhood thing twice over. I’m so lucky.

And thankfully, when I was trying to conceive Star I joined some forums where there were other women my age trying to conceive too. I’ve stayed in touch, mostly on Facebook, with most of these women. So, they balance out my long time friends by posting photos of their kids which are almost the same age as mine. I even have a friend who, like me, had a surprise baby rather late on.

What do you think? Am I crazy? Would you have a baby in your later years? Would you do it all twice? I’d love to know.

I’d really appreciate any comments on my Qutee, or you can use the comment box as usual.

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Debs Random Writings

My Random Musings

Lucy At Home

16 Comments

  1. differentiationiseasy
    May 22, 2017 / 10:37 am

    I have an eight year gap between mine, and worried that it would be too large. But I couldn't have been more wrong. They are so close, and it makes me so happy that they have the relationship that they do. I hope things are going well with your new treatment, I've been thinking about you x #PostsFromTheHeart

  2. mummyhereandthere
    May 22, 2017 / 1:48 pm

    I love that song, normally listen to it when I need some lifting up. I agree funny how music can transport you back to a different time X #mmbc

  3. May 22, 2017 / 3:20 pm

    I don't think you're crazy at all…! You can't always plan things and you don't know how things will turn out, so you can just make the best of it. Your children don't really know / care how old you are, just that you're there x

  4. May 22, 2017 / 3:36 pm

    I don't think you're crazy, I think I would be crazy to have more kids now, but I don't think you are. We're all different as are our circumstances. I say good for you #MMBC x

  5. Wendy
    May 22, 2017 / 6:06 pm

    Noo not crazy at all..you wanted more kids so you went for it..why not?I'm 26 and have 2 kids..I think I'm done now as I kind of like the idea of being in my mid 40s and both my kids being grown up..I might start to get broody again in my 30s though, who knows!xx #postsfromtheheart

  6. May 22, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    Aha! Tubthumping reminds me of going out drinking for the first time….hehehe I was 16 and it was on everywhere we went.
    There are times when I think about having another. My girls are 14 and 9 but I don't think I will. I think we are quite settled how we are. It sounds like it was right for you. Not crazy at all.

  7. jeremy@thirstydaddy
    May 23, 2017 / 1:33 am

    my wife was a young mother and her daughter is now 17. Sometimes I wonder how I convinced her to have another one with me five years ago! #anythinggoes

  8. mackenzieglanville
    May 23, 2017 / 3:27 am

    I think about it quite often, I am 40, but will be 41 this year and would love to have another baby. I developed a heart condition when I was pregnant with my son, who is now 7. So I think that is what stops me trying for another, the risk of not being here for the 3 I have. But it does make me sad that I won't have another baby. #candidcuddles

  9. May 23, 2017 / 5:52 am

    Aw. You're one inspiring mama. The closest I get to motherhood is being a dog parent so I can only imagine your joys and sacrifices. Thanks for this inspiration.

  10. Mom Of Two Little Girls
    May 23, 2017 / 1:56 pm

    I had my first when I was 29. I now have two and am definitely done! I can't imagine doing it twice. You are a brave mom! x

  11. Mom Of Two Little Girls
    May 23, 2017 / 1:56 pm

    sorry – #postsfromtheheart

  12. May 26, 2017 / 12:14 pm

    I think its important to do what feels right for you and your family and that's what you did
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

  13. May 27, 2017 / 9:59 pm

    I'd say it's tough going having babies in your 40s but at the same time you'd have a different outlook on life & parenting which could be a real positive. The quote is so funny – I love that song & it brings me right back now thinking about it! Thank you for joining me at #candidcuddles lovely xx

  14. May 28, 2017 / 11:22 am

    Good for you is all I can say! I started a family later than most, I was 29. I now have two beautiful boys with 4 yrs difference, as it took some time to have my youngest, I didn't think we would ever get pregnant! I am 37 now and would certainly like another one while I still can 🙂

    Thanks so much for being part of #MMBC. See you next week xx

  15. debsrandomwritings
    May 28, 2017 / 1:53 pm

    Hi Anne, I love that song! It has such a powerful message! I can honestly say that I would not choose to become a Mum again now. Just the thought of starting all over sends shivers down my spine. I don't think I could cope with the sleepless nights and school runs again!
    However, I don't think you are crazy! Each to their own and if you are happy then that is what matters.

    xx

  16. Lucy At Home
    May 30, 2017 / 8:59 pm

    I think life takes us in all kinds of surprising directions and you just have to roll with it! I imagine it's tough running round after young kids when all your friends are grandparents, but they say having kids later on keeps you young!

    Also, it's funny you saying that song takes you straight back to a place. For me, it takes me back to playing World Cup '98 (football) computer game as that was the theme tune! My brothers and I played that game alll the time! I remember it so vividly whenever I hear that song #blogcrush

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