School Days Trials and Tribulations part Three – My Little Man is Being Bullied!

I don’t think my school woes will ever end. Well, maybe in about eight years time when my youngest finally leaves school.

This time my woes are with my Little Man. He’s in year three, primary school. Only it’s not primary school any more because he goes to an all school through school. It means the same school from reception to year 11. But, this is new and they’ve not yet integrated the two schools properly. Boo is in year 6 and in the same school as her sister in year 8. But the years reception to year 4 are in a different building and the younger years seem to get a bad deal.

I can’t really fault the big school, my girls are doing fine, and whenever a problem arises they get it sorted. Star has loads of extra help because of her Autism and disabilities, the school is very understanding (well, apart from the attendance issues.) The Little Man’s school is very different. My Little Man has been struggling for a while now, since he started year 3. He gets bullied at playtime and even though we’ve complained it’s not been resolved. The kids that bully him are always made out to be the good kids in the class. They are always being rewarded for their work and behaviour. My Little Man, however, seems to be in trouble constantly and never receives any rewards. We have been called into the school because of his naughty behaviour on several occasions.

The thing is, the Little Man is well behaved at home and we think there must  be a problem at school for his behaviour there. He tells us that he gets into trouble for talking in class, this happens when he’s being pinched or had faces pulled at him to point he can’t take it any more and tells them to stop. Then he gets into trouble with the teacher for not concentrating on his work and talking!

He does do naughty things, he’s flooded the toilets deliberately on several occasions. And he’s drawn on the chairs, wall and desks. I’ve seen his scribbling, he writes things like ‘leave me alone’ or ‘ had enough now.’ Yet, the teachers can’t see his cries for help and are just labelling him as naughty.

We have got to the stage now where he is refusing to go to school. We are still taking him, but under duress. His Dad says he’s okay once he gets there. But, he is coming home upset and we’ve had many tears.

I have five children and this is the first time I’ve had a child in the early years (Which used to be called the Infants when I was at school) that doesn’t want to go.

Is He Autistic?

The others have had issues but they have been resolved, but somehow the school is failing my little boy. I guess it doesn’t help that he’s already had three different teachers this year.

The last time we talked to the teachers they said that they thought he needed psychological help and is probably autistic. I have has suspicions for a while but his dad is not so sure. A couple of weeks ago I took him to the clinic for an unrelated medical issue, and after the nurse talked with him for about twenty minutes she asked to speak to me privately. Her first question was, is he autistic? (she may not have been so blunt, but that is what she was asking.)

So, now we are waiting for a referral to get him assessed. I already have two autistic children and they were assessed pretty quickly, but I don’t think the process is so quick now. We will have a long wait for the answers on that issue.

Whether he has autism or not, I cannot let the issues continue at school. Today, his Dad has spoken to his ‘new’ teacher and the school secretary. He has asked for an appointment so we can talk to someone about our worries. It’s time for us to step this up and get our little man the help he needs. I will not tolerate bullies, and I will remove my son from the school if it isn’t stopped immediately.

My heart is breaking for my poor Little Man, he’s such a loving, sweet child and does not deserve to be this unhappy.

photo of the seaside, a long concrete wall bordering a beach with a hill in the distance. A little boy is looking through a telescope out to sea

Is My Little Man looking for a happier future?

Click to read School Days Trials and Tribulations Part One and School Day Trials and Tribulations Part Two

5 Comments

  1. April 25, 2018 / 11:55 am

    Oh hon I feel for you so much. I am having issues with my boys at school, but very different, but I don’t know what to do to help. It’s so hard when you can’t just fix it for him. I know our school doesn’t have a great bullying policy, they think they do, but sometimes they don’t see what is happening. I would try to speak to the teacher or even the head and explain your fears, how he is or even go to the education board who will send someone external in to have a look. Sometimes they just can’t see what it in front of them. I am sending you all my love and strength as I know how hard this is. xxx

    • April 25, 2018 / 12:20 pm

      Thank you Susan x I am waiting for an appointment with the head and his teacher. I’m going in there myself, and I will take notes to let them know I am serious about this. Can you believe it’s been going on since September! xx

  2. April 25, 2018 / 5:42 pm

    Aww! Bless you! Sending hugs to you and your boy….
    It sounds like the teachers are really failing your boy and it isn’t fair on him. It sounds like you need to go higher up than the teacher and the head. Have you tried speaking to the governors of the school…
    If I have a problem and can’t get an appointment I will happily sit in the reception and wait to be seen. Someone is soon sent to see me. lol
    When the people contact you to assess your boy make sure to mention the bullying and then they will have to speak to the school about it and the school will have to take action. hehehe Good luck xxx

  3. April 27, 2018 / 12:58 pm

    I hope you can resolve it swiftly – clearly those messages are not your usual vandalism or grumpiness, they are a cry for help. Poor soul. Fingers crossed school keep a close eye and stamp it out – and he’s back to smiling soon xx

  4. May 3, 2018 / 5:57 pm

    Hi Anne, this is so sad and must be so frustrating for you. Having to send a child to school knowing that he or she is being bullied should never be. Bullies are the lowest of the low and are often clever and conniving. I hope you get to the bottom of it and that the school steps up and looks into the matter. All schools and workplaces should have a tough no bullying stance in place.

    xx

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