Covid

All That She Wants is a Little Compassion.

October 15, 2020 by Anne Sweet 9 Comments

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

I’ve mentioned it before but my Mum was very critical of me when I was growing up, she’d use phrases like ‘wet blanket’ and ‘so laid back, she’s horizontal.’ Yes, I know, she’d probably call me a ‘snowflake’ if she was still around.

But do you know what? I’m happy with the way I am. Yes, I may be over sensitive, I may think too much about stuff, I am a peace lover not a fighter. It’s taken me a long time to be comfortable with all that, but trying to change it has never worked.

Compassion

compassion/kəmˈpaʃ(ə)n noun
Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

I think this world lacks a lot of compassion. I keep on getting drawn to threads on Social Media about the COVID pandemic and I know I shouldn’t. Sometimes I find it difficult to keep my mouth shout (or my typing fingers!) But, I don’t argue or lack compassion.

I got into a conversation with someone who stated that the virus was the work of nature, weeding out the elderly and sick to improve the human race. Like a Darwinian Survival of the Fittest. I should have avoided but I found his comments cruel. No-one deserves to die, particularly someone who has a young family and contracted a chronic illness which puts them at high risk. I told him his words were unkind and he just replied that he didn’t believe there was a pandemic anyway. Yes, I definitely should have avoided. I clicked his profile, he was a gay man. I remember back in the 80s when AIDs was rife and people would say it was nature’s way of weeding out gay people. I found that despicable too. I decided not to interact with this person anymore though. I guess some people just don’t think about their comments.

I hate that fellow humans cannot show simple compassion for each other.

All That She Wants is a Little Love in this World.

We CAN fight this pandemic together. We can work together and keep it under control while carrying on with our daily life. Yes, things will need to change for a while, less interaction, social distancing, mask wearing, no overcrowding. It’s hard, but it’s not as awful as losing a loved one, and it wouldn’t be forever. In fact it could all be over a lot quicker if people would show a little compassion for others.

There are two different kind of disaster movies, those were everyone does whatever they can to help their fellow humans, including self sacrifices. And those where everyone turns on each other and fights for their own needs with not concern for anyone else.

We are facing a global disaster, if it was a movie, I know which one I’d rather be acting in.

“For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson

Compassion is Not So Hard To Feel

There is nothing wrong with caring about other people. Yes, you need to look after yourself too, but caring about others can make you feel even better.

We are all different, with different needs. I care that people can not go to work and see their friends and family. Despite the fact that I work from home and have all my close family around me at home.

I care that people are struggling to feed their families and losing their homes. I don’t want that to happen to anyone.

It even saddens me to see that those who have had fabulous weddings and holidays abroad this year cancelled. Despite the fact that I had no real plans apart from a couple of small British holidays (which were cancelled.)

My heart is broken for all those that missed hospital treatments and operations. For those that died of Cancer and other conditions that were diagnosed quickly enough.

Compassion means that I care about all these things and still believe that COVID is a big threat that should be taken seriously. I don’t think we’ve seen even half of the damage it is capable of yet. I don’t believe it’s less dangerous than flu and I think that people have become far too complacent.

So, why can’t people who are in these situations show a little compassion for those who have lost lives, who will lose lives and who have suffered greatly because of this virus. I keep getting quoted percentages which change from person to person, but percentages mean nothing to me. I care more about humanity and kindness. Plus, you can’t really evaluate percentages until the entire thing is over or under control. They mean nothing.

There is not point trying to make these people see my point of view. I don’t want to argue and fight. All that this woman wants is for us all to stand together and fight this pandemic into submission. And I believe it is possible. Plus a little compassion goes a long way.

Text on marbled background. This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me. A quote by Emily Dickinson about compassion.

This is my post for Blogtober 2020 under the prompt ‘All That She Wants’ you can see my other blogtober posts here.

COVID Diaries Day 193 with some Good News

September 23, 2020 by Anne Sweet 7 Comments

It’s been a while since I wrote an update on our life since the outbreak of COVID so I thought I’d let you know how things are going right now, with a little good news too.

None of us have had COVID but I do know three people who have, one pretty badly. My eldest daughter is back working for the NHS in a local hospital. We are hoping it doesn’t get too bad again.

My Chronic Illness and some Good News

With the COVID pandemic my appointments with my consultant have been by telephone only. This has been fine and he even arranged my hospital treatment which went along well, although it was quite surreal being in a socially distanced and masked hospital.

Just before the lockdown in May I had an MRI which showed that my brain had been bleeding and I had a swollen part on my brain. I talked to my consultant and he said it was okay so long as it didn’t get any bigger. So he said I would need another MRI in 3 months to check there was no change. Because of the pandemic the MRI was actually nearly 7 months later and I did start to get rather anxious. Then I had the MRI and the results were really good. My brain is now behaving itself and there was nothing else to report. Phew!

It did make me think though. A lot of people have complained about appointments being delayed and people missing out on vital treatments and diagnosis, especially for cancer. (My anomaly was not cancerous.) I had to wait an extra 4 months for my scan and it was fine….but what if it wasn’t, what if it had grown and become dangerous, what if it had reached the point that treatment had become dangerous? It’s not good for me to think like that, but it does make me think of all the other people who have not had the good news I had.

The hospitals have had it difficult. People are constantly saying that there was never an issue, but I really don’t believe that they would deliberately delay treatments and appointments unless their hands were tied. It’s a really difficult situation and it’s not likely to get any better as we approach even more COVID hospital appointments. I just hope they have learnt a lot of lessons both in the hospitals and the government. Fingers crossed.

Back to School

The Little Man went back to school first but it was a hard decision. It didn’t help that on his first day back he ended up having a really nasty fall and spraining his wrist. He also caught a tummy bug which he kindly shared with us all just as the girls were going to go back! Then I had to spend a week in hospital for my treatment and the whole school situation became a nightmare. We decided to give up on the first week back and start again. The schools were understanding.

So, they all went back and afterwards the Little Man and Boo were happy but Star went to her bedroom and refused to talk to us. She then refused to go to school the next day. I chatted with the school and they said it was ok for her to do a gradual return of just a couple of hours a day to start with.

She went into school, spoke to a teacher and seemed okay. Then she got sick again. She’s still not been back. I’m not sure if her illness (Which I know is very real and physical) is down to anxiety. I am waiting for a call from our GP to try and get to the bottom of it (Bottom being the relative word here!)

The Future

For us, the future will be just taking precautions so that we don’t catch the virus. The Little Man is much happier being back at school, but I know that Boo is struggling (even though it’s hard to get her to open up about it.) And Star is struggling with her health and anxiety. I’m putting a lot of trust in the schools to keep them safe.

My daughter is back at work and Graham is the taxi driver of the house. She used to go to work on the bus but we don’t want to take that risk just yet. Especially as the numbers of COVID cases in our area are really growing at the moment.

My life hasn’t changed much. I don’t get out of the house very often anyway, usually it’s just hospital appointments. It feels kind of sad that summer is over without our summer holiday. We will make up for it next year I’m sure.

I’m still planning Christmas, it won’t be cancelled here. We generally only spend Christmas with our immediate family though. There are seven of us that live here so plenty of company. We do usually have a few relatives around to visit before Christmas but that will probably not happen this year.

So many months now we’ve had this virus hanging over us. We have to carry on with our lives, but we have to be careful too. We should take better care of our elderly population who have suffered so much. I can’t believe how much they have been let down. There is so much that could have been done better, but so much that needs to be done still to help us get back to normal. Some people refuse to accept a new normal, and many will reject a vaccination, but we all need to stand by our choices and make sure that whatever we choose we can always choose to be kind and think of others.

Or maybe I’m a dreamer?

(I’m not the only one!)

Covid Diaries Day 161 – Freedom, a Month Later

August 22, 2020 by Anne Sweet 1 Comment

It’s been a whole month since I wrote a Covid Diary post. Some people think it’s all over because the death rates are going down. Some are marching for their freedom. Some people think it was all a government scam to keep us in control. Yeah, I have read up on this and I really don’t get it. Why would the government of almost every Country in the World make up a virus that kills people and destroys economies?

People have rebelled against having their basic human rights removed. It’s up to them what they where on their face, who they see, where they go and no-one can tell them otherwise. Especially not an invisible virus that only kills a minority of it’s victims. I’m not giving a figure because the figures are a mess, but thousands have families have been affected by this virus, and in my opinion, one family is too much.

Not Affected

A lot of people have been unaffected by this virus, they’ve been able to get on with their lives, continue almost normally, and they’ve not lost anyone or known anyone get sick. They are the lucky ones, but luck can run out.

The things that have been put in place to keep people safe are not for the lucky ones, they are to protect those that are less lucky, the vulnerable in the society, and those that put their lives at risk every day to help victims of this cruel virus. If you’ve not been affected that doesn’t mean that you can’t help others that have.

Freedom

People cry out for freedom, they refuse to be in lock down, they refuse to stop meeting up with family and friends and they refuse to wear masks. They do it all in the name of freedom, their rights to do what they want.

In the larger picture, a lot of people have survived the virus, they have recovered, some well, some not so good. But, it’s proof you can survive. Some have suffered at home without going to hospital and are now almost back to normal. But it’s becoming clearer that this virus can leave long lasting effects.

It’s true that it’s only a minority that end up in intensive care, and die. But a minority of millions of people is thousands. Take Wembley Stadium* full of people and kill them in one go. If there was something as simple as wearing a mask and social distancing that you could do to prevent that massacre, would you do it then? What if one of those people in that stadium was your Grandma? Would you give up a tiny bit of your freedom to save your grandma, or anyone else’s grandma? Do people really care so little?

Off My Soapbox

I have always been an empathetic type. I can’t help it, it’s built into my mindset, it hurts too much sometimes, but I’m glad I care. I talk a lot about my own issues, but in my mind I feel that my sharing is helping others to feel less alone in their issues. Maybe I’m wrong, I’ve often thought that. But, I can’t change who I am and how I feel.

I may even be a snowflake. I don’t care, call me what you will.

Anyway, now I’m off my soapbox I can let you know how the last month has been for us.

We’ve had two birthdays, Boo turned 13 and the Little Man turned 10. We had a little friend around on Boo’s birthday and the Little Man asked her back on his birthday. I also had a visit from a friend and her two boys. We were going to stay in the garden but it was one of those steaming hot summer days and ending up having to shelter from the sun.

We’ve had a couple of days out. One was at Cosford Airforce Museum which was really nice. We spent a lot of time outdoors, but inside we wore our masks and followed the one way system. They had staff on the doors with clickers to make sure that there were a safe amount of people in the buildings. It felt safe and it was a lovely day out.

The other day out we had was at Spencer’s Retreat. We were given a couple of hours on the farm by ourselves which was really nice. Of course this meant we had no contact with anyone else apart from the farm animals.

My eldest daughter went back to work, but she’s only part time at the moment and Graham is taking her and picking her up so she can avoid public transport.

Graham is still the only one going out, he goes to the shops, garage and has been to pick up take outs. He has also visited a friend and his Mum. I don’t have anyone to visit apart from my brother, and he has been to see me a couple of times instead. It’s easier as I have more space. We are being careful, but I think we have dropped our guard a lot too. I’ve noticed Graham doesn’t wash his hands every time he returns home like he used to.

The virus still scares me. I don’t want any of us to get it. I don’t want to go through any of it with any of my family. It’s not gone anywhere, it’s just being controlled. But if we don’t listen and do as we are told then I’m sure it could get out of control again very quickly.

How do you feel? Are you a freedom fighter? Do you think the pandemic is over?

*Wembley Stadium holds a total of 90,000 people and we are no where near that figure in the UK. I could have used a smaller stadium as an example, but this virus has not gone away and we could easily reach the number to fill Wembley if we don’t get it under control.

How to Celebrate Your Anniversary While Social Distancing

June 25, 2020 by Anne Sweet Leave a Comment

2020 has been a very strange and eventful year so far. We’ve all come to learn all about how to behave when there’s a deadly pathogen on the loose, and keeping two metres distant from those around us has become almost second nature. In fact, we may find it uncomfortable, or even anxiety-inducing, to be in close quarters with other people even after the lockdown has lifted and we’re all able to resume our previous lives.

Of course, this all makes celebrating those special moments a little bit tricky. Weddings have been called off, funerals have been delayed, and birthday parties have been scaled back.

Anniversaries, however, are a little bit different. As they’re usually celebrated by two people who might be cohabiting, or even sharing the same bed, the social distancing rules don’t apply.

With that said, not all couples found themselves in this happy situation. If you were just at the early stages of a promising relationship when the lockdown kicked in, then adhering to the rules might have prevented you from spending time with your partner.

two wine bottles in the background with two glasses in front, celebrate

At the other end of the spectrum are couples for whom lockdown has been a particular strain. While you might have been cohabiting with a partner for years, being forced to spend every moment in the same building with them might have been a new experience. Familiarity, as the saying goes, can breed contempt. Throw the stress of housebound kids into the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for serious disquiet.

In either instance, an anniversary can represent an opportunity to remind each other exactly what you’re getting out of the relationship. If you’ve gotten into the same routine, then there are some ways you might use the occasion to break things up a little. So what can you do?

Recreate Special Moments

You’re not allowed to return to that restaurant where you went on your first date, or enjoyed your first meal as a married couple. But you can recreate the significant elements with a little bit of imagination and an online cookery instruction. Break out the best cutlery and light some candles. The nostalgia effect can be powerful, perhaps even encouraging you to spend time reminiscing about the past, and rediscovering why you’re together in the first place.

Invest in Gifts to Celebrate

Buying something for your significant other will help you to demonstrate just how much you care – especially if your gift is an unexpected one. A chocolate hamper will reliably go down well, especially if you’ve been eating well throughout the lockdown. Bunches of flowers tend to be similarly reliable – and it’ll help you keep your local florist in business, too.

Whatever you do, I hope you enjoy your special day.

This is a collaborative post

Covid Diaries Day 101 – Left Behind.

June 23, 2020 by Anne Sweet 7 Comments

I should have written a post yesterday on day 100, I missed that opportunity. So, It’s been over 100 days since we decided to lock ourselves away, a week earlier than most. At the time of writing this we are, here in the UK, are hearing how life is returning to normal with more places opening up. I do feel somehow that we are going to be left behind.

Feeling Better

I do feel better than I did in my last post. But, I’ve just come out of the most horrible headache, not a migraine. My head was just constantly pounding and it was hard to concentrate on anything. I couldn’t look at my computer screen and it was difficult to spend any more than a few moments on my phone. Each day I’d wake with a headache that gradually got worse as the day went on. Then by bedtime I could barely hold up my head. A couple of mornings I almost felt surprised that I’d managed to wake up.

I was worried. I do have a leak on my brain. A subdural haematoma, but it’s not serious. It seems to be something that has healed itself, but I’ve been warned to be wary of headaches. There is a chance that it will ‘leak’ again. But I’ve suffered from headaches all my life, some really bad migraines, and even trigeminal neuralgia. How do I know if what I’m suffering is normal, or my brain leaking again? I get the chance to put that question to my consultant next month. He doesn’t want me to go to the hospital, we are having a telephone consultation. Great, it’s a 9am. I don’t even have to get dressed!

Lockdown Life

The World is still crazy, we even have a horrible attack on innocents in a Reading park to add to the list now. So much horror and pain. My heart goes out to them all.

Maybe we will stay in our bubble at home. Stay as safe as we can.

I did go out. It was my brother’s birthday and he lives in a block of flats. I agreed to meet him in the car park and was hoping to give my wheelchair a spin in park opposite. But I hadn’t charged my battery and didn’t get far. The Little Man got to walk my brother’s dog which he enjoyed. And I got to see my brother and sister-in-law and my niece. And the dog of course.

The Little Man came with us but Star is refusing to leave home.

Boo has been out with her Dad to go to the chemist and they stopped off to buy an ice cream at the shop and eat it in an isolated park.

But these are such rare occasions that we have left home.

It feels like the whole world is carrying on with life and we have been left behind. Left behind at home.

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