Today I am angry and upset.
Yesterday I spent many hours in A&E with my Little Man.
We have some big decisions to make.
It all started a while ago and I wrote about my Little Man being bullied at school.
Since then we have visited the school and spoken about the issues and talked with his teachers many times. We have been assured that everything is being done to stop the bullying. We have also been told on a daily basis what a naughty boy our Little Man is at school.
To be fair we’ve been confused about what has been going on. We know by far that our Little Man is no angel, but he’s not the type to hurt anyone, yet this is what he’s been accused of. They have been making out that he is the bully. My Little Man has always had many friends at school. He’s always been well liked by his teachers and done well in class…until this year when the bullying started. Now it seems that he cannot behave and is always in trouble.
We’ve tried to get to the bottom of it, we’ve talked to him and rewarded him when he has been good. Imagine my delight when he came home Wednesday having been the best behaved child in the class that day. In fact he’s had a really good week. Well, up until yesterday
My Little Man has always had plenty of bruises on his arms and legs, not only is this normal for boisterous seven year old’s, we are also a family with a history of bruising easily.
Last Sunday we put up our trampoline and the kids couldn’t wait to play on it. The Little Man was off within about five minutes complaining of back pain. We were confused because he’d not fallen on his back and had only been on for such a short time. He’s tried to go back on several times but each time he’s come straight off because of his back. Then we noticed some bruises appear on his back so I made an appointment with the GP to see if there was anything we should be worried about.
He went to school yesterday morning and we picked him up just before 11 am for his GP appointment. When we picked him up we found he had fallen off his chair in class and bashed his arm on the radiator. The teacher’s comments surprised us as she claimed it was karma because he was leaning back on his chair.
We all know that leaning back on your chair is dangerous and stupid.
We all have done this at some time in our lives, particularly at school. Is it karma to fall and hurt yourself, is it reasonable for a teacher to state so? I wasn’t there at the time but I was so angry when I heard this.
The GP looked at the Little Man’s arm and told us to take him to A&E as she thought the bone may have a fracture. She looked at his back and said it looked like an impact injury. She noted down all his other bruises, which were all impact bruises.
The hospital was really busy and as the Little Man was not deemed as urgent we had to wait three hours before being seen by a Doctor. The conclusion was that his arm had suffered severe bruising and she was certain that the bone was okay. Phew! She also looked at his back and told us to take him back to the GP if it didn’t feel better within a couple of weeks. Then she mentioned that he may have a connective tissue disorder and we should ask for a referral to a rheumatologist.
She asked if he was clumsy? Was he? I guess he did have a problem with walking anywhere and runs all the time, I suppose this makes him a little more accident prone.
The School Calls
I didn’t send the Little Man to school today, I hadn’t decided what to do. I called and told them he wouldn’t be in and the deputy head called back to arrange a time for us to talk. We made an appointment for the Monday they go back to school after the holiday next week.
We had a chat and I told her some of my concerns. She stated that they had thought things had improved and that they were keeping a close eye on the Little Man and frequently asking him if all was okay. She also claimed that she’d noticed he was a little clumsy in school, always bumping into things.
This is where my dilemma begins. Is she saying that because I told her about his bruises and she’s trying to put the blame on him rather than the bullies? Of course it’s in the back of my mind what the consultant said yesterday.
The Little Man claims he is being hit by the other boys and I have no reason at all to disbelieve him. I do, therefore believe that these boys are still being mean to him and sadly they’ve moved their actions to the classroom after being closely observed in the playground.
No matter what, this has to stop, whether it’s the main cause of his bruises or not.
I feel that when we go in for this discussion that the deputy head is going to try and convince us that it’s probably the Little Man’s fault and that they are doing all they can to protect him so it’s highly unlikely that he is being hurt by the other children. If I expect this in advance then I know she won’t catch me off guard. I know what’s going on and it has to stop.
The Little Man is distraught at the thought that we will take him out of school and away from his friends. We told him he could keep in touch but apparently he likes some of the teachers too, and there is a something he calls ‘friendship group’ that he really wants to be part of.
It’s mind boggling how the mind of a seven year old works. Each day he gets up and seems distraught that it’s a school day. Each day he comes home and doesn’t want to talk about school. Occasionally we have tears from him because he hates school so much.
Yet, the thought of leaving school has him in floods of tears.
I am thinking that he is worried about starting a new school, beginning again, making new friends. But, he’s always been so good at making new friends and he’s so young I’m sure the transition would be easier for him now rather than later.
I’m not going to rush into this. We have a whole week off school ahead of us, plenty of time to think about our next move.
The only thing I am really sure of is that the bullying has to stop. I cannot bear to think of another child hurting mine and if it happens one more time I will not be able to control my rage.
Despite my saying not too, Graham was so incensed yesterday he approached the Mother of one of the children that has been bullying our Little Man. She denied it vehemently and even claimed that it was our boy that was the bully. On hearing our boy had bruises she angrily retorted that it couldn’t be her boy’s fault as he’d not been in school all week.
So, that’s why our Little Man has had such a good week then. (Well up until his fall yesterday, which was his own fault, and definitely NOT karma.)
Poor little man! Oh, Anne, you must be beside yourself. We had this with my eldest. The school was an absolute nightmare! I pulled him out of the hell hole after several very upsetting events. I was fuming.
I hope you get to the bottom of it, do what’s best for you and your little man.
Thanks for sharing with #MMBC. x
Aww! Your poor boy….I can understand why you are so angry.
The teacher is really out of order for saying that in the way she did. It sounds like she has something against your boy.
It is horrible to say but I really hope that over this coming week that all the bruises disappear then when he goes back to school they start to appear again. At least you can put the bruises down to the school.
Thinking of you x
Have you tried talking to other mothers that are not involved, in a subtle way? You may find that the other children are telling their parents about incidences that you wouldn’t hear about otherwise. It might give you a clearer picture. As the mother of a talkative daughter, I’ve heard so much over the years about classroom goings on. Hope this gets sorted for everyone’s sake. Karma comment is very misplaced.