Many years ago I had a website selling baby clothes and blog to go along with it. I noticed one day I’d had a thousand hits on a page I’d titled Baby, Baby, Baby. I was a little surprised until someone pointed out it was the title of a Justin Beiber song. I’m not trying to replicate that with today’s title, the kind of loving yourself I want to talk about is much more important.
Loving yourself may be given a bad name, especially by the likes of Justin Beiber, but there is a difference between self love and only loving yourself.
self-love
noun
regard for one’s own well-being and happiness
First lets have a reality check. You are not perfect! No-one is, but accepting your flaws and embracing them can be a good thing. If you know you can do better, then that’s great, work on it, do it! But, don’t become something you are not just because you are not happy with the way you are now. You may like yourself even less!
Here is a little piece from one of my favourite Authors, Paulo Coelho.
Reality
by Paulo Coelho
Ideal Conditions
The ideal conditions that you are looking for don’t exist. We shall never be able to get rid of certain defects. The trick is to know that despite all your flaws you are an extraordinary person.
Yes, you know very well but try to go beyond the limits that you are used to – for ten minutes a day – be that person you have always wanted to be. If the problem is shyness, stimulate conversation. If the problem is guilt, feel approved. If you think that the world ignores you, try consciously to attract everyone’s looks. You will experience the occasional difficult situation, but it’s worth it.If for ten minutes a day you can manage to be what you dreamed, you are already making great progress.
How to Love Yourself.
May I ask you a few questions? You don’t have to tell me the answers but you might want to think about them personally. You may even want to write down your answers. Take your time, think carefully and clearly. This is ‘you’ you are thinking about.
What kind of relationship do you have with yourself?
How do you handle compliments and your own achievements?
What about your failures? How do you handle them?
Recall decisions you made that you still struggle to accept.
What good came from those decisions?
What is the one thing you should do for yourself?
Taking the time to think about your own relationship with yourself and how you see yourself is a great way of connecting with your own needs. What is important to you?
Pampering
There is no better way of showing a little self love than pampering. A lovely spa experience, within the likes of a luxury steam shower at home or away will rejuvenate you. Clearing out your wardrobe can be very cathartic too. Buy yourself something nice, spend some time on your favourite hobby, or get away to your favourite place to be. Treat yourself, you are worth it.
Finally, one last question;
what is the thing that you are most proud of about yourself?
You can tell me this in the comments if you want to, I’ll give you a virtual pat on the back.
This is so powerful. So many times we put ourselves off for whatever reason. You are no good if your tank is empty! #lgrtstumble
It always sounds so trite but it is true that self-love is vital for us to have a good relationship with others as well as ourselves. I have recently thought I might blog looking in a different way at some events in my life from a different perspective. I think that will help me quite a lot and your questions are great to kick off a whole self-love revolution #TheMMlinky
What I am most proud of for myself is that I suffered a mental illness for many years and even though it was really tough and at times, I wanted to give up, I didn’t. I never gave up. I kept going and kept trying and eventually I found my own happiness within myself. I found out that I am a warrior both for me and for my children. Loving yourself is imperative to find real happiness but as you point out the distinction self-love isn’t the same as only loving yourself. Love this post! #LGRTStumble
Oh that definitely deserves a pat on the back and you are a true warrior for self love x
LOL so funny about your insane stats on one day! I also love Paulo Coelho’s writing, so inspiring and did you know he was rejected by a publisher in the beginning! The one thing about myself that I’m most proud of is my blog 🙂 I learned how to create it and build it just through teaching myself and using online resources. I think most things in life I have needed to be taught by somebody else but this is something I have done just for me and by me. #TheMMLinky
Well done, building a blog is not as easy as it seems, especially when you do it all yourself x
I agree, self love is totally important, and I think it’s a good example to set for our children. I would hate for my daughter to grow up not believing how wonderful she is. I’m not sure what I’m most proud of. I’ll have to give it some thought! #BlogCrush
A very thought provoking post. I particularly love the quote. #BlogCrush
That quote from Paul Coelho is inspiring. I struggle with self-confidence, so answering your question is hard, but I guess I’m proud of myself for trying to be a better me and helping others to do the same, even when some days I just want to hide under the duvet. Thanks for linking up again to #TheMMLinky
Yes yes YES! Absolutely loved reading this! <3
After all, you can't drink from an empty cup!
What am I most proud of? I think it'd have to be raising my two boys singlehandedly into two amazing young men. <3
#TheMMLinky
I think self love is something that we should all practise a little more. It’s so easy to take a backseat and forget about our own needs isn’t it?! x
Such a beautiful article on loving yourself. I must say, that you should love yourself for who you are and not for how others define you. Very well explained article. Thank you.