self development Archives

Many years ago I had a website selling baby clothes and blog to go along with it. I noticed one day I’d had a thousand hits on a page I’d titled Baby, Baby, Baby. I was a little surprised until someone pointed out it was the title of a Justin Beiber song. I’m not trying to replicate that with today’s title, the kind of loving yourself I want to talk about is much more important.

Loving yourself may be given a bad name, especially by the likes of Justin Beiber, but there is a difference between self love and only loving yourself.

self-love
noun
regard for one’s own well-being and happiness

First lets have a reality check. You are not perfect! No-one is, but accepting your flaws and embracing them can be a good thing. If you know you can do better, then that’s great, work on it, do it! But, don’t become something you are not just because you are not happy with the way you are now. You may like yourself even less!

Here is a little piece from one of my favourite Authors, Paulo Coelho.

Reality

by Paulo Coelho

Ideal Conditions

The ideal conditions that you are looking for don’t exist. We shall never be able to get rid of certain defects. The trick is to know that despite all your flaws you are an extraordinary person.

Yes, you know very well but try to go beyond the limits that you are used to – for ten minutes a day – be that person you have always wanted to be. If the problem is shyness, stimulate conversation. If the problem is guilt, feel approved. If you think that the world ignores you, try consciously to attract everyone’s looks. You will experience the occasional difficult situation, but it’s worth it.If for ten minutes a day you can manage to be what you dreamed, you are already making great progress.

How to Love Yourself.

May I ask you a few questions? You don’t have to tell me the answers but you might want to think about them personally. You may even want to write down your answers. Take your time, think carefully and clearly. This is ‘you’ you are thinking about.

What kind of relationship do you have with yourself?

How do you handle compliments and your own achievements?

What about your failures? How do you handle them?

Recall decisions you made that you still struggle to accept.

What good came from those decisions?

What is the one thing you should do for yourself?

Taking the time to think about your own relationship with yourself and how you see yourself is a great way of connecting with your own needs. What is important to you?

Pampering

There is no better way of showing a little self love than pampering. A lovely spa experience, within the likes of a luxury steam shower at home or away will rejuvenate you. Clearing out your wardrobe can be very cathartic too. Buy yourself something nice, spend some time on your favourite hobby, or get away to your favourite place to be. Treat yourself, you are worth it.

Finally, one last question;

what is the thing that you are most proud of about yourself?

You can tell me this in the comments if you want to, I’ll give you a virtual pat on the back.

Twelve and a half weeks ago I was asked to review a personal development course on rediscovering human values. I embraced the course myself and I’m so glad I did, I enjoyed every moment and I feel I have learnt so much.

Each week the book gave me a clue to solve, the answer gave me a website with lots of resources which explored a human value and then led me into a discovery of what that value meant to me and how I could explore it further.

Some of the values I found easy, they are things that I always embrace and I know that’s the way I am. Other values were much harder for me to explore and I found out things about myself that I never knew before. The hard weeks made me face up to a lot, but they are also the weeks that I gained the most.

I watched videos, played games, spent time thinking about things, talked to people, shared things, meditated and discovered how to be more mindful. It has certainly been a journey. One I didn’t want to end if I’m honest.

When I reached the final half week I found myself hoping that I would find the clue really difficult as I knew that once I found the answer, and the website, it would be the beginning of the end. Of course I know that things like this never really end because when you learn so much about yourself you take it with you forever.

For twelve and a half weeks I have been completed events, or tasks, that have been set for me. Some I’ve not been able to complete precisely because of my disabilities, but I’ve always found a way of doing them. Some of them I had to postpone until a later date, some I’ve not completed yet but I know I will, I actually have them planned for later dates. The events have been fun and enlightening and I’ve felt at ease doing them, even the more challenging ones.

It’s hard to describe something when you don’t want to give too much away. I guess book reviews are like that, you want to tell everyone all the little details that you feel excited about, but if you do, you spoil it for them. There always has to be an element of surprise. With this book I hope everyone will be as pleasantly surprised as I was.

Things I think I can tell you without giving too much away are..
This is more than just a book, it’s your book.
This is a journey and you are welcome to share your journey with others on the Facebook page.
You can take it at your own pace. It is meant to be done over twelve and a half weeks but I’m sure it wouldn’t really matter if you took longer.
You don’t have to do everything you are told to do, but you do need to do as much as you can to get the most benefit, and it is designed to benefit you.

If you would like to know more about the book then please take a look at my original review.
You can also get a taste of what it’s like on the website The Activation Game.
The book can be purchased from the website or from Amazon.
If you do take it up be sure to let me know, I’d love to know how you get on and I’ll always be on hand if anyone needs any help on the Facebook Page.