Forgive me as this post is a bit of a brain dump, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. What will my children remember me for most.
First Let me start with what I remember most about my parents.
Remembering My Dad
As I have told you before, my Dad died when I was a little girl but my memories of him are set in stone. I remember his love of watching ballet on television and I always wanted to grow up to be a ballet dancer so he could watch me on the stage. But that was never to be. He would draw me little ballerinas and he had a very distinct way of drawing, none of his lines joined up. He also liked to draw cowboy hats.
My Dad also loved Doctor Who and most of my memories were of the third Doctor played by Jon Pertwee. I was very scared of the daleks and would hide behind the settee when they were on. We had one of those popular sideboards with a very shiny surface and I could continue watching the reflection from the television. Why is it that the reflection is a little less scary? Nonetheless I did have lots of nightmares about the Daleks.
At bedtime my Dad would recite fairy tales to me before I went to sleep. He never read a book, he just told me stories about Little Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel. In the last years of his life (And when I was old enough to read myself) he had a job working nights at the famous Austin Car Factory. On Friday mornings he would come home and go straight to bed but leave me a copy of the Beano, which he’d already read. He would also leave me half a packet of polo mints. That was my weekly treat and I really looked forward to it.
At the weekends my Mum would take my baby brother to Nan’s house and Dad would take me to the park or the bluebell woods. Sometimes he would allow me to take a friend.
Children remember so little about their parents but I think my memories of my Dad are so vivid because he died so young and all I had left were my memories.
Remembering My Mum
My Mum was very close to her Mum and sisters and most of my memories of my Mum consist of her sitting around drinking tea with her family and chatting, putting the world to right.
I also remember that my Mum loved words games in the paper, and occasionally she would buy a crossword or word puzzle book. She loved words just like I do. There would be lists all over the place that she would write, so I guess that’s why I’m a list lover too. Another thing I remember was that she would work out her weekly finances in a little book, down to every penny. Yes, I do that too, despite the fact that my online banking on my phone does it all for me, I still have my little book. And I rarely use a calculator too, it helps keep the brain active working out those sums.
Another thing I remember was my Mum’s way of savvy shopping. In the days when the high street was full of supermarkets, green grocers and butchers, my Mum knew where to get all the bargains. For example, she’d get the cheapest tea bags from Tesco, the cheapest sausages from the Butcher’s and the cheapest bread from Liptons. It would take her hours to do her shopping but she certainly knew how to make her money stretch. As a widowed mother of two children in the 70s, I think she had to make every penny count.
What Will My Children Remember About Me?
I hope they will have fond memories. I know my older children remember me differently because I wasn’t sick when they were young. And my girls remember me being well, but the Little Man doesn’t.
I hope that Star remembers all the nights I spent at her bedside while she was in hospital several times in two years when she was seven and eight years old. I would hold her hand while she was sleeping to let her know that I wasn’t going to leave her.
I hope that Boo remembers that I have been totally accepting of her and her choices in life. It’s certainly not what I expected but she has my total support. I also hope she remembers all the baking we used to do together, she loved making cakes and I even took her to London for special baking class when she was seven, we had an amazing day.
I hope that the Little Man remember the morning cuddles we used to have before getting up. (He’s too old for that now.) And all the time we have spent together just the two of us as we are the only early birds in the house. We have watched films, played games and just done our own thing, but we have spent so much time together. I guess he was too young to remember all the times I used to spend at his nursery school reading with him and doing crafts, parent interaction was always encouraged and I always attended. Maybe these memories will reappear when he is older.
With me being disabled now I worry that they will only remember the Mum that was mostly stuck in her chair or in hospital. We still try to get out and have some fun, and we have fun playing board games and computer games together. We have a lot of family game nights. This is what I want them to remember.
Sometimes it’s the little thing that are remembered so I hope that The Little Man remembers that I go into his room every morning and wake him up with the words ‘Good Morning Sunshine.’ When I wake up Boo, I can’t help but say ‘Wake Up, it’s a Beautiful Morning’ from the song Wake up Boo by the Boo Radleys.
What do you think your children will remember about you? And what do you remember about your parents from your childhood?
Just one more note before I go, my regular readers may have noticed a few posts on my blog that are not in my usual style. I feel the need to mention this because I am accepting more paid posts at the moment. Like most people I’m finding life a bit of a financial struggle so I am loathe to turn down anything that pays. Please feel free to just ignore them. I’m sure they will dry up soon and I can get back to posting just my own material.