Each month I join in with Sheryl’s Chronic Illness writing prompts link up. I’m a little late for December, but it’s not been good so far so I’m catching up with everything. This is where I write about my illness and how it affects me, using prompts from Sheryl and the December Chronic Illness Writing Prompts are:
I have found it really difficult to accept this part of my chronic life but sometimes you have to give in. Everything I do is exhausting. I could spend the whole time in bed I’m so tired all the time, but I still try and get up and be normal. Saturday was spent in a vomiting induced coma which I couldn’t avoid. It’s times like this that I realise I have no choice but to rest.
I have days when I feel I’ve been productive though and I hold on to these. Yes, there was a time when I’d be rushing around here there and everywhere. I’ve been a single Mum with two kids rushing from work to childcare, cooking dinner, bathing the kids and putting them to bed each day without any help. It seems like a whole other life now when I can’t even fetch something from upstairs without exhausting myself. These days, I count making a sandwich and putting the washing in the washing machine a big achievement. If I feel good I may even run the broom across the kitchen floor or fold up the washing.
The run up to Christmas has always been an exciting time for me. I love buying and wrapping gifts, shopping, seeing the lights and decorations. Baking and getting lists ready for Christmas day treats. This year has been very different. We have no school concerts or carol services, no Christmas markets or fetes. I’m so sad that I won’t get to see my youngest child’s last ever primary school Christmas play. The last two years have been really good. Last year it was ‘The Greatest Snowman,’ and the year before, ‘We Don’t Want to Do No Nativity’ which was absolutely hilarious. I could almost cry knowing that I won’t be crying at any more Christmas nativity/concerts.
It will still be exciting though. The kids are getting older but they are still looking forward to gifts beneath the tree and fun family games. I’m excited about being able to indulge in chocolate and maybe even a little tipple of my favourite drinks. I will pay for it health wise, but it won’t stop me.
When we heard of the COVID rules for Christmas our first thoughts were about how we could still see family. Then we came back down to earth and thought sensibly. Graham’s Mum has been in his ‘bubble’ and he’s been able to visit her at times. But, we haven’t seen her, just Graham. We will invite her over for a while to see her grandchildren just before Christmas. Our house is bigger than hers so it makes sense she comes here. We’ll have sandwiches and cake and swap gifts. I think 90 minutes is the time limit. She’s not classed as vulnerable, but we are.
My brother will probably stop by for a short visit too, he might bring his wife. He’ll come on a different day and won’t stay as long. That’s as far as my socialising will go, there will be no parties or events this year. I’m not even going to my usual ballet which I love. (I can stream it live for a small fee but it won’t be the same. I might just pay to help them out as I know they are struggling.)
I am lucky though. I live with my five children and husband so we have a full house anyway. We don’t need others to socialise we have each other. (Sometimes, it is nice to imagine what it would be like to be alone!)
Christmas is the season for indulging. I’m just hoping my body can hold up to the abuse it will endure…oh dear, even a bar of chocolate can make me feel ill. I’ve learnt how to cope though….treats earlier in the day mean that my sleep isn’t disturbed. I’m not supposed to drink, but a little glass is ok, I just have to miss off a couple of my drugs. So long as I’m not doing it all the time then I should be okay.
I have been indulging in Christmas movies. I get up early at the weekend and the younger ones always have other stuff to do on their tablets or laptops. So I sit her with my blanket and put on a Christmas movie. I don’t care how corny it is, or if I know exactly what is going to happen within the first ten minutes, I still enjoy just switching off and enjoying. I’ve not been able to read or listen to many books lately so its been my escapism.
In a year where we have had to cut back on so much it seems hard to even think about cutting back on anything at the moment. I’ve nothing bad to cut out of my life, not even habits. But I will be cutting down on spending after Christmas. This year I’ve not really thought about it. I knew I’d have enough for Christmas because we’ve had no days out or holidays to pay for. But I have been a little frivolous particularly with take away food and giving the kids whatever they wanted. I really want a holiday next year if possible, even if it means a caravan in the middle of nowhere. I do have a holiday booked already so hopefully that will go ahead. I will want to cut back on spending before then so we can indulge ourselves while we are away.
Thank you for reading. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and I will look forward to reading you all again next year.
If You liked my December Chronic Illness Writing Prompts post you may enjoy some of my previous posts.
Oh no! I hope you are feeling better now after vomiting over the weekend.
I’ve had a couple of years now without the school concerts and carol services. It’s rubbish that they don’t bother with them at the secondary school. Hmmf. I do miss them. Such a shame you won’t get to see you’re boy’s last one.
We will be having no one in our house over Christmas and won’t be visiting anyone. My dad will pop round and drop presents off on the doorstep but that’s it. Him being poorly has scared us.
I am glad you are still able to treat yourself over Christmas. x
Kim Carberry recently posted…Our weekly meal plan! 14th – 20th December. #MealPlanningMonday
I will get to see my boys concert, but it will be online. I can understand your fears over visitors after what happened with your Dad and Ellie’s friend’s Mum. Graham’s mum has been in isolation since March so I’m not worried about her coming here, and we have monthly COVID tests so we know we won’t pass anything on to her. I do worry about my brother, but I can’t stop him from coming. I know his wife looks after her elderly father so they have been keeping safe too. I think it’s more the families that are insisting everything will go ahead as usual (I know for definite of one family that is having aunts, cousins etc over on Christmas day. They will have a house full.) I also know my neighbours will have people around, they did all summer anyway, even during lock down. When they are young and fit they don’t care.
Interesting to read how you are feeling. Enjoy meeting some of the family again – even if for just 90 mins! #MMBC
I really enjoyed your post! I agree with you on the socialising – I will not be seeing my family this Christmas (only via video call) as I don’t want to put them and my 86 year old gran at risk. I’m lucky that I have a boyfriend to spend Christmas with (we both live alone and have been each others’ bubble this year). But I’m looking forward to a quiet one. It’s great you have a big family to spend Christmas with, you wouldn’t want to be alone all the time- trust me. It’s funny, I always imagine what it would be like to live with lots of others! I hope you have a great Christmas and stay safe <3 Louise x
Yes, I know I wouldn’t want to really be alone, I’d miss my family if they were not here. Maybe just a week to myself 😉 Have a lovely Christmas too and thanks for stopping by x
Lovely post, I get so exhausted too, it’s rubbish. I’m defo not cutting out the Christmas tipple either! Wishing you and your family a lovely Christmas x
Hello again Anne, I hope you are well and that you have enjoyed a lovely Christmas with your family! I am so with you on the Christmas films; I too have been indulging in quite a lot of them! The romantic, cheesy ones on TV are so light and always guaranteed a happy ending! I hope you get to enjoy the New Year celebrations and wishing you all the best for 2021 – fingers crossed it’ll be easier and better than this year!