|photo courtesy of Les Anderson|
If you read my post last week, Let Me Not Beg for the Stilling of my Pain, then you would have probably noticed that I was not as upbeat as I usually am. I try my hardest to be positive but sometimes, even while trying, I feel pretty bad inside.
I was really ill, I’d been ill for weeks and I really thought it was time to just give up. But giving up is not really in my vocabulary.
Last week I spent every day in hospital as an outpatient. I received my IVIG treatment for the third time. The first time I’d had very little result, the second time I’d had some good signs but the side effects nearly killed me. This time I was scared about the side effects and had little faith in the treatment. I also harbour guilt for taking such an expensive medication when it was not doing me any good, but talking to other patients they all said I needed to keep going as it does get better.
So, last Monday I had fallen. I had fallen hard and didn’t have much hope in getting back up again.
But, I did. I had my treatment, I have had very minimal side effects, and I feel much better!
Okay, it’s not been a miracle cure, but I have less pain (I have to say that again, I have less pain!!) and I have a little more energy. I feel better inside and my positivity has returned. I’m standing up again. (Almost literally but only for short periods,) and it feels good. I have already been booked in for my next two treatments but I will see my consultant before then. Depending on how long I feel better for he may change my treatment dates.
I have a lot to look forward to this year, and although it started pretty rough, I now have lots of hope that things are going to be just fine.