People often ask me why I’m so positive. Well, I do have my down moments, times when I feel I can’t cope anymore. But it’s my positive attitude that pulls me through, and it’s always there, deep inside, even when I feel depressed.
I’ve always been pretty laid back, I let life’s problems flow and deal with them when I can. Sometimes I procrastinate (okay, I procrastinate a lot) and this doesn’t help, but eventually I get everything sorted and back on track.
I always say that I had a good childhood, and I really believe it. But, how good could it have been really when my Dad died while I was young and mum had to bring up me and my brother in a time when one parent families were a distinct minority.
I always say that my first marriage was good, but it wasn’t really. despite the happy times and the births of my first two children, there was a lot of misery. When he finally left for good I didn’t cry, I’d done that too many times before when he’d left me. The last time I just felt relieved. We are still friends because I don’t hold grudges and he’s my kid’s Dad.
I don’t hold grudges you see. It’s not easy, but I forgive people that have hurt me and don’t dwell on it. I never used to, and it made me miserable. Forgiveness is like a magic potion for healing. I know some people find it hard and really can’t forgive those that hurt them. But you don’t even have to tell them you forgive them, just hold it in your heart, forgive them and the pain eases. You don’t have to worry or stress about them and what they’ve done, it’s over.
I don’t believe in karma. I think it holds you back, it’s kind of like revenge. If someone hurts you and you think that karma will get them, then it’s like saying you wish something bad to happen to them. Then there is good karma, where you think that those who have awful things happen to them will get their good things by karma. It just doesn’t happen and it’s not worth waiting for. I don’t believe in karma because I’ve seen too many bad things happen to good people and too many good things happen to bad people.
I never say ‘why me’ because it just makes you feel miserable. I know that bad things happen to people all the time, this time it’s my turn. Maybe I’ve had more than my fair share of bad things happen, but if I think why me, then I have to believe that I deserved them in some way.
So, why am I so positive despite everything. Well, I deal with my problems as they arrive, I may procrastinate but I do deal with everything eventually. I don’t dwell on the bad things that have happened and I don’t blame anyone, not even karma or myself. I forgive those that hurt me and don’t hold grudges. And I am determined not to let my old age be full of regrets or bad feelings, life is short and you have to make the most of the happy times and hold them close in your heart.
I would never look at a field of dandelions and think of them as a hundred weeds. For me they are wishes, little happy moments that are so much more special than the bad things.
You may like my other post ‘Ways to Keep Positive’
How do you stay positive?
I really need to take a leaf out of your book! What a wonderful way to see things x
That quote is lovely, I need to remember that one. You seem to have discovered the real secrets to staying positive, even though you've had a rough journey, it's amazing how you have been able to forgive those who have hurt you. I agree that forgiveness is central and I'd add being thankful.#TheMMLinky
I need to think more like you….I try to be a forgiving person but it takes time for me. I will forgive but never forget.
What a beautiful way to look at dandelions x
Staying positive isn't always easy but its worth it every day to think positive in spite of any bad situation that may arise. I wrote a post about this just last week:) #MondayStumble
I try to stay positive too. It is too exhausting to live the other way. #MondayStumble
Like you it lives in me – a little ray of sunshine. Sometimes something bad happens – like in 2003 when 1/4 of the staff at my job were laid off. Me included. People were angry, sad, hysterical, etc. I acted logical leaving and as I later said to a friend, I fall down on my butt, and slide a minute and say poor me Then I get up, dust myself off, and say ok what I can to make it better. #MMBC
What a really lovely post…it's taken me a long time to understand how forgiving people is the healthiest and life-affirming thing to do. You sum it up so nicely x
I wonder if losing someone so important so early in life resulted in you realising how fragile and precious life is and led to you having such a great attitude to life. I am sorry to hear your marriage was unhappy – I know that place and it is no fun at all #TheMMLinky
I love your attitude! I’m not great at staying positive, although I’m getting better, and I have no reason to be anything other than positive! I know I’m lucky and have a very good life, but I’ve always been a glass half empty kind of person.
I love this post. And yes I’m a bit like this too. I always say I haven’t the energy to hold grudges (or the memory). I’ve had more than my fair share of shite I’d say but feeling sad about it only makes it worse. I try hard to find the positives in everything. I have days when I feel sad and I allow that but I work at looking on the bright side.
This is lovely Anne. I wish I was a better forgiver- sometimes takes me a long time even though I know it's better when I do. I'm afraid I can't agree with you on the dandelions- well I don't like them in my garden anyway ?
Staying positive feels difficult at times. I know many people think they will gain positivity through being grateful. #mmbc
It took me a long time to realize I needed to start forgiving others AND myself. I can hold a mean grudge, I can, but I always feel better if I forgive. Counting my blessings also helps me to stay positive!
You have such a brilliant attitude; you are an inspiration to me. I deal with things by saying 'once it's done, it's done, and we have to move on from that and decide what happens next, not dwell on it' xx #TheMMLinky
Hi Anne, so that's how you stay positive! I do like to look for positives too, but I'm not sure if I could if I were in your position. I do agree that holding on to negatives and not 'letting things go' is a sure way to end up bitter and twisted. I do believe there is good in every bad if you look hard enough and use a little imagination. I am also sure that not everyone can see positives or let go of grudges.
Take care and have a good week.
This is so inspirational, Anne. I totally agree with you – our attitude to life is the key to deciding whether we've had a good one or been dealt a rubbish hand. It sounds like you have had more than your fair share of difficulties but it's great that you can also see so many good things and focus on those, after all, thinking of the bad only makes us miserable #blogcrush