Do you remember New Year Eve 1999? For me it has a particular poignance, it was the night my life changed forever. The other evening I spotted this photo on my Cousin’s daughter’s Facebook asking if any of the family knew who it was.
Why am I sharing it with you? Well, it’s me!
The me I used to be in 1999.
I was happy, my marriage had ended but we’d finally come to peace with that. I had a fantastic job which I loved, my children were growing up, the eldest at Secondary School and the youngest in her last year at primary. We were at a party with all the family at a local pub function room and everything was going well. I’d had a few drinks but I wasn’t drunk. My ex was working as a taxi driver and had promised us a lift home so no worries. (Although we could have walked home in 20 minutes from this pub!) And it was the beginning of a New Millenium.
The worst year of my life and I’ve had some bad years. I can’t even tell you what happened but the very next day my world imploded. This night was the last time I saw my Mum in five years and the last time our family was all together. There were other family parties, but they were fractured. Our family was fractured.
Isn’t it strange how one simple photo can mean so much. I’ve not even seen this photo before. I guess my cousin was going around taking photos of everyone. I probably would have hidden if I’d seen him coming, I hated having my photo taken.
My cousin’s daughter said she didn’t recognise me. I can understand, this really is a different me, I’m no longer that person and never will be again.
Life Goes On
Twenty One Years into the new century and life goes on. I met someone new, Graham, and we had three more children together. I did make some peace with my Mum just after Star was born and she got to meet both Star and Boo before she passed away.
I do try not to dwell on the past, it’s not something that can be changed. You can go over and over about all the things that you could have done differently, but it doesn’t make any difference once it’s been done. You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with your life.
It has just been a jolt seeing the old me just hours away from becoming the different me.
I guess I had one chance to party like it was 1999……